"'It's the ram--d----d'st false ever told against a gentleman of my high standing!' "'What is Squire?' interpolated Hornblower, keeping as cool as the face of a March morning. Why!' returns the Squire, 'to say I stole 'em myself!' "'There can be no mistaking it Squire,' chimes in Hornblower; 'and the stronger evidence is the fact of your being the only son of a man who has yet preferred the charge of stealing them. Now, Squire, I'll stake the schooner Virtue, that on proceeding into your cellar the herring will be recovered and injured justice satisfied: just grant us a warrant to search your cellar, Squire.' Here Hornblower looked thunder and lightning at the Squire whose wrath and misgiving seemed carrying out a sad conflict in his heart. The result was a strange clatter of tongues. Notwithstanding the Squire's estimate of his own popularity, the good people on the coast well understood his singular process of doing up the law business. 'You'll get your straight ups to jail, or pay the coin right down, Hornblower!' demanded the Squire, making a flourish with his law-book, and preparing to adjourn for the purpose of doing a small quantity of drinking. "'The Squire's a humbug!--he is!--I'll blow the Court to thunder. Just clar the kitchen,' cried out the skipper, stripping off his coat, as if to have a tug and hug with the Squire, who at that moment wanted to get a word in edgewise. The next Smooth saw, the Squire was letting fly at Hornblower's head the law-book; which rather summary demonstration was replied to by a stream of tobacco juice, with which Hornblower blinded the Squire, setting him nearly frantic. By the way, the law-book missed its intended object, and stormed the end of Uncle Seth Sprague's nose, nearly knocking off an inch or two. "'Now, if that is Colonial law, Squire, I think how a little home-made Yankee justice won't be a bad application,' said Hornblower, making ready to administer the medicine; then he squared off, and sent his mauler right into the Squire's dumplin depot, so sharp and strong, as to produce a decided conviction. At length the Squire was floored, and found working the rule of three on the boards. Here the diplomacy became so warm, that Smooth having the very highest regard for Mr. Pierce and his fighting diplomatists who deemed getting up duels, and writing down editors very necessary preliminaries to their mission, thought he would withdraw, leaving the intricacy to Hornblower's settlement, seeing that he was producing the strongest kind of notes and protocols. CHAPTER XVII. SMOOTH SETTLES ALL INTERNATIONAL DIFFICULTIES.