The Adventures of My Cousin SmoothTempleton, Timothy
General
The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth
Templeton, Timothy
Pierce, Franklin, 1804-1869 -- Humor; United States -- Politics and government -- 1853-1857
"The General, in reply, said he would like to catch him at it. And to
show his courage he went below, when one of the middies at the foot of
the companion-way took aim at the General with a champagne bottle, and
let drive the contents into the General's glass. The Mayor of Halifax,
and members of the Corporation, got into a skirmish with the
marines. It seems that Alderman Nugent asked the boatswain, in a
sneering sort of way, if they had any turtle on board. The answer was,
'No--but we've got turtle soup, if that will do for you.' The Mayor
stepped up, and said he would rather have turtle soup than _fish_ any
day. The boatswain answered that he was tired of hearing so much said
about fish. For his own part, he didn't see anything in fish to fight
about. If it was mutton, he was on hand for anybody. One word led on
to another--by this time the steamer was crowded from stem to
stern--until at length there was a general row; every man became a
body corporate, and pitched into himself with right good will.
"The ladies got snappish on account of their husbands, and in turn
pitched into the officers of the Princeton with their--eyes. The
sailors were piped to quarters. Pistols were freely used. The 'big
guns' were charged and fired, doing much damage to the feelings of the
company, in the way of compliments. In short, it was the greatest
battle ever fought in Halifax harbor, real or _sham_. After
quarrelling in this way, until eight o'clock in the evening, and
destroying all the eatables that could be found on board the
Princeton, the invaders retired, and left the Commodore and officers
to their reflections. The retreat was effected in _gallant_ style--so
say the ladies. It is said that the Commodore has sent a despatch to
Washington, informing the authorities of the insult received. We
earnestly entreat that our American contemporaries will fully discuss
this serious matter, on account of the honor of the 'stars and
stripes,' to say nothing of the 'fish story.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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