The Adventures of My Cousin SmoothTempleton, Timothy
General
The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth
Templeton, Timothy
Pierce, Franklin, 1804-1869 -- Humor; United States -- Politics and government -- 1853-1857
"'And that yours, too, Mr. Smooth? Your fertile acres stretch from sea
to sea.' Little John interrupting, pointed all over the broad expanse
below. He had no generalized ideas of America, no distinct estimate of
her productive and maintaining powers, and less knowledge of that
machinery so simply beautiful called her government. He never for once
thought how this wide western expanse was destined for the back-bone
of the mightiest republic the world ever knew. People without homes in
the old world found happy homes there; civilization drove the buffalo
from his wonted haunt to give place to man; man himself yielded to the
power of progress marching westward. 'Now, Littlejohn.' said I,
'seeing that your people have but an imperfect geographical knowledge
of our country, let me tell you that yon black ridge you see afar down
is the range of rocky mountains. Colonel Fremont, a small man, slim
enough to split the wind, but as tough as Uncle Seth's whip-stock,
climbed the loftiest peak, hung his hat on it, made the stars and
stripes on a rag--(in accordance with necessity and the go-ahead
spirit of our country)--hung them flying in a snowstorm, whistled
Yankee Doodle three times and proclaimed them ours in the name of the
United States. All this was smooth and fair,--done in the spirit of
our go-ahead, all-accomplished diplomacy.'
"'Ah!' interrupted Littlejohn, 'your appetite for bits of territory
runs monstrously that way.'
"'Yes!' I replied; 'but, John, give us your hand-on that point we may
honestly embrace, and declare ourselves now even two. You are as
modest as an archbishop on salary day, and seldom openly embrace
territory; we prefer the frank style in all our adoptions. Let us not
quarrel over that--you love freedom, we love free government. Our
political thoughts are moulded in one die, though self-interest may
vary them. To be mutually just toward each other, to live on terms of
friendship, and preserve that amity which is our bulwark, serves well
that unity of great principles which conserves and preserves our
happiness. Yea! cursed be the hand, and stagnate the breath raised
against that peace and good-will which saves us from the monster of
war.' Here I grasped firmly and earnestly John's hand, and would fain
he forgot the past and thought only of the future. Looking down, 'that
is New Mexico,' said I, 'a small corner we just hooked on to our large
establishment; we let all these little ones come into the same
nursery, where a generous mother watches their wants and provides for
them as circumstances demand. You, John, treat your colonial babies
with singularly cold diet; in fact, you often permit them to become
stunted and ill-tempered for want of proper care in the home nursery.
You see, Texas was well nursed, and now her territory is fast filling
up with the hardy sons and daughters of your land; but, would they
become new beings, and enjoy equal rights and equal privileges, they
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