The Adventures of My Cousin SmoothTempleton, Timothy
General
The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth
Templeton, Timothy
Pierce, Franklin, 1804-1869 -- Humor; United States -- Politics and government -- 1853-1857
must divest themselves of those servilities which in your country one
class unfortunately endeavors to enforce upon the other.' John bowed,
but gave no further heed. Presently we came to the Mormon settlement,
and here he set to chaffing me about equal privileges. 'We always had
inconsistencies in our social system,' he said; 'just see how many
wives these Mormons have got, and what a nice thing they are making of
equal rights. You beat us there, Smooth; we Englishmen would never
think of such sort of thing.' John looked very innocent and honest,
which, added to his dignity so naturally put on, was enough to make
one's face square up into a broad smile.
"'Permit me, John,' returned I: 'we tend well the great things; this
Mormon evil will work its own remedy! Westward the wave of empire
rolls on; that's the word we speak as the world looks on, grudgingly
acknowledging its truth. We nurture small things that they may become
great; we make men feel themselves living equals, not inferiors; we
put the lowly emigrant in moral progress, and from his mental
improvement reap the good harvest for all. By sinking from men's minds
that which tells them they are inferior, we gain greatness to our
nation. Simon Bendigo is made to feel that he is just as good as
Blackwood Broadway; and Blackwood is made sensible of the fact that he
is no better in the body politic than any other man.'
"'Now, Smooth, just let me interrupt you in your train of Yankee
logic,' said Littlejohn; 'the safer a man feels his position the
better is it for the nation; but the policy of equality in men, though
it might do for your young place, never would do for ours. Age and its
attendant glories demand different rules of guidance for society. All
your fancy articles of freedom, equality, and dignity among common
people become doubtful, when subjected to long practice. Our people,
sir--take my word, not unworthily--are above considering such
degrading innovations; their grades of society are a sacred
protection.'
"'Ah! those are English opinions, iron-bound. Your social institution
is a perfect curiosity shop, where everything old may be stored away
unmolested, but upon which the man of plain sense looks distrustfully,
while sycophants waste contemplation in devising means for its
preservation. How few estimate the cost to a nation of maintaining
those ancient inconsistencies so preserved by governments of the old
world!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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