The Adventures of My Cousin SmoothTempleton, Timothy
General
The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth
Templeton, Timothy
Pierce, Franklin, 1804-1869 -- Humor; United States -- Politics and government -- 1853-1857
world in general, and manifest destiny in particular.' The savage at
first exhibited signs of concern, but finally summoned to his aid a
salutation of welcome, and at the same time grasped my hand warmly and
earnestly. Communicating with him by signs was not the most agreeable
office: but when there is a point to be gained energy is always well
spent. I would enlighten him upon matters connected with our
government, while ascertaining his ideas of annexation: this the
language of signs prevented my doing. I regretted this exceedingly,
inasmuch as it compelled me to forego the comparison I contemplated
making between his and those known ideas entertained by General Pierce
himself. Enough, however, was drawn from the signs to prove a
striking coincidence. 'Never bin to Washington--I reckon?' I inquired
assuming the independent, as I gave my hat an easy set on the windward
side of my head. He shook his head, and croaked out something no one
could understand. 'Great place!' rejoined I--'ought to come over and
see it, old fellow.' I affectionately placed my arm about his neck, as
he shook his head a second time; the small kindness had made us good
friends. Motioning John to him, he grasped our hands, led us to his
camp, called a council of his people, who said much it was impossible
for us to understand. Indeed, they set up a conflict of sound more
dinning than the roar of waters. Instinctively hospitable, when
dinner-time came they motioned us to sit and partake of a piping dish
of snakes' heads and fried beetles, of which choice delicacies the old
chief was sorely grieved that we ate but little. Now and then he would
spread his hands, as if to say--why not eat of what I give you? I was
not long in becoming acquainted with our new acquaintance; nor did I
fail to shock the modesty of our worthy friend John, who said he could
not view with indifference the celerity with which I walked into
things which should be touched only with the dignity of national
character.
"'Now stranger,' continued I, addressing myself good-naturedly to the
chief; 'seeing you are sovereign of this remote but lovely
country--and that yours is manifestly an empire--suppose we try a
little trade. Smooth is a free-and-easy citizen of the United
States--can meet you at and be friendly over anything. My friend
here,' (I pointed to John who seemed in an offish mood) 'is a
Britisher, an honest member of that very ancient and gallant family
which now views us, too often for that spirit which should make us
friends, as a beardless upstart; John, though extremely vain, is not a
bad fellow, and at times improves on acquaintance. If his proclivities
for getting into an hole (like a toad in a shower) are at times too
strongly manifested, who so ungenerous as not to forgive the
hereditary character of the disease?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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