The Adventures of My Cousin SmoothTempleton, Timothy
General
The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth
Templeton, Timothy
Pierce, Franklin, 1804-1869 -- Humor; United States -- Politics and government -- 1853-1857
characteristic style chastised them into submission.' John spoke with
great seriousness, never for a moment lessening his air of dignity.
Indeed, it embodied and acknowledged serious mode of docilizing a
people: how much real attachment between the conqueror and conquered
must follow this system we leave the reader to contemplate. The
honorable Mr. John, notwithstanding, had a very circuitous way of
confessing the fact of having taken into his family, by this arbitrary
system of wedlock, no end of people; still he accused Jonathan of
using his soft-sawder for the same purpose.
"Journeying a few days through a country rich of soil and rivers
turned to no account, we reached a dominion called the Punjaub, which
John said had limits he knew not where, and was his, too. He acquired
it by the same bold and very honorable stroke of policy. The chiefs,
he said, kept up a continued jarring among themselves; such being
fatal to their best interests, he, as a friend, merely stepped in to
put an end to their unprofitable disputes.
"As I have before told the reader, this honorable individual, who
sensitively declared nothing could make him less than a gentleman,
never failed to consider himself a model of forbearance, but in the
fulness of his generous soul, having conquered, he rather preferred to
remain conqueror. In the Punjaub John had left his mark, but nothing
to praise.
"Despairing of finding something to praise in the Punjaub we passed
over into Pegua--John's also. Got by the same bold stroke of policy--a
few variations excepted! It was rather a fascinating piece of
territory, to the Rajah of which he had several times offered
protection, after the manner of that protectorate of two centuries, so
vauntingly claimed over the Mosquitoes. The barbarian as often
rejected it. This, John could not submit to: humanity demanded he
should accept the kind proffer. And to serve the ends of humanity did
John hasten to the Rajah's palace one Commodore Lambert--a pugnacious
seafaring diplomatist, known for his love of the yard-arm law. The
Commodore would hold a parley with the Rajah; the Rajah, whose dignity
was first to be consulted, was too slow in preparing his palace. The
Commodore, erratic of temper, was at times accustomed to growl for his
own amusement; he now growled for the amusement of his countrymen. The
result was natural. In the littleness of his vanity did the Rajah
imagine himself a very great man. He was important of those small
follies which prove the great misfortunes of old nations. The
Commodore must wait in the sun, with becoming respect for his
dignity. But the seafaring diplomatist esteemed the importance of his
cloth above all barbarian considerations, hence decided himself
insulted. As patience is essential to the success of diplomacy, so the
Rajah deemed it expedient to test how far that quality was possessed
by the Commodore, whom he permitted to wait two hours in a vertical
sun.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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