The Adventures of SallyWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Adventures of Sally
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories; Inheritance and succession -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
“Yes,” said his relative, in pursuance of a vow he had made in the early
eighties never to refuse an offer of this kind. “Gimme!”
You would have thought that that would have put matters on a pleasanter
footing. But no. Having lapped up the restorative, Uncle Donald returned
to the attack quite un-softened.
“Never thought you were a fool before,” he said severely.
Bruce Carmyle's proud spirit chafed. This sort of interview, which had
become a commonplace with his cousin Ginger, was new to him. Hitherto,
his actions had received neither criticism nor been subjected to it.
“I'm not a fool.”
“You are a fool. A damn fool,” continued Uncle Donald, specifying more
exactly. “Don't like the girl. Never did. Not a nice girl. Didn't like
her. Right from the first.”
“Need we discuss this?” said Bruce Carmyle, dropping, as he was apt to
do, into the grand manner.
The Head of the Family drank in a layer of moustache and blew it out
again.
“Need we discuss it?” he said with asperity. “We're going to discuss it!
Whatch think I climbed all these blasted stairs for with my weak heart?
Gimme another!”
Mr. Carmyle gave him another.
“'S a bad business,” moaned Uncle Donald, having gone through the
movements once more. “Shocking bad business. If your poor father were
alive, whatch think he'd say to your tearing across the world after this
girl? I'll tell you what he'd say. He'd say... What kind of whisky's
this?”
“O'Rafferty Special.”
“New to me. Not bad. Quite good. Sound. Mellow. Wherej get it?”
“Bilby's in Oxford Street.”
“Must order some. Mellow. He'd say... well, God knows what he'd say.
Whatch doing it for? Whatch doing it for? That's what I can't see. None
of us can see. Puzzles your uncle George. Baffles your aunt Geraldine.
Nobody can understand it. Girl's simply after your money. Anyone can see
that.”
“Pardon me, Uncle Donald,” said Mr. Carmyle, stiffly, “but that is
surely rather absurd. If that were the case, why should she have refused
me at Monk's Crofton?”
“Drawing you on,” said Uncle Donald, promptly. “Luring you on.
Well-known trick. Girl in 1881, when I was at Oxford, tried to lure me
on. If I hadn't had some sense and a weak heart... Whatch know of this
girl? Whatch know of her? That's the point. Who is she? Wherej meet
her?”
“I met her at Roville, in France.”
“Travelling with her family?”
“Travelling alone,” said Bruce Carmyle, reluctantly.
“Not even with that brother of hers? Bad!” said Uncle Donald. “Bad,
bad!”
“American girls are accustomed to more independence than English girls.”
“That young man,” said Uncle Donald, pursuing a train of thought, “is
going to be fat one of these days, if he doesn't look out. Travelling
alone, was she? What did you do? Catch her eye on the pier?”
“Really, Uncle Donald!”
“Well, must have got to know her somehow.”
“I was introduced to her by Lancelot. She was a friend of his.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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