For my lord had besides me a double-dyed rascal for a page, which had already served him for two years: to him I gave my heart, for he was of like age with myself. "And this is Jonathan," I thought, "and thou art David." But he was jealous of me by reason of the great favour that my lord shewed me, and that greater day by day: so he was concerned lest I should step into his shoes; and therefore in secret looked upon me with malicious and envious eyes, and sought occasion how he might put a stumbling-block for me and by my fall prevent his own. Yet were mine eyes as doves' eyes[7] and my intent far different from his: nay, I confided to him all my secrets, which yet consisted in naught else than in childish simplicity and piety. But he, innocent as I was, persuaded me to all manner of folly, which yet I accepted for truth and honesty, followed his counsels, and through the same (as shall not fail to be duly treated of in its proper place) fell into grievous misfortunes. _Chap. xxviii._: HOW SIMPLICISSIMUS GOT TWO EYES OUT OF ONE CALF'S-HEAD The next day after my discourse with the secretary my master had appointed a princely entertainment for his officers and other good friends; for he had received the good news that his men had taken the strong castle of Braunfels without loss of a single man: and there must I, as at that time 'twas my duty, like any other table-server, help to bring up dishes, pour out wine, and wait at table with a plate in my hand. The first day there was a big fat calf's-head (of which folk are wont to say no poor man may eat) handed to me to carry up. And because this calf's-head was soft-boiled, therefore he must needs have his whole eye with the appurtenance thereof hanging out; which was to me a charming and a tempting sight, and the fresh perfume of the bacon-broth and ginger sprinkled thereon alluring me, I felt such appetite that my mouth did water at it. In a word, the eye smiled at once on mine eyes, my nostrils, and my mouth, and besought me that I would incorporate it into my hungry belly. Nor did I need long forcing, but followed my desires; for as I went, with a spoon that I had first received on that same day I did scoop the eye so masterly out, and sent it so swiftly and without let or hindrance to its proper place, that none perceived it till the dish came to table and there betrayed itself and me. For when they would carve it up, and one of its daintiest members was wanting, my lord at once perceived what made the carver start: and he was not a man to endure such mockery as that any should dare to say to him he had served up a calf's-head with one eye. So the cook must appear at table, and they that should have brought the dishes up were with him examined: and last of all it came out that 'twas to poor Simplicissimus the calf's-head had last been entrusted, and that with two eyes: how it had fared thereafter no man could say. Then my lord,