I have been house-hunting, and I do not pretend to dislike it. The
sight of unknown houses, high garden walls, windows looking into blind
courts, staircases leading to lofts, dark cupboards, old lumber, has a
very stimulating effect on my imagination. Perhaps, too, I sometimes
think, these old places are full of haunting spiritual presences,
clinging, half tearfully, half joyfully to the familiar scenes, half
sad, perhaps, that they did not make a finer thing of the little
confined life; half glad to be free--as a man, strong and well, might
look with a sense of security into a room where he had borne an
operation. But I have never believed much in haunted rooms. The
Father's many mansions can be hardly worth deserting for the little,
dark houses of our tiny life.
I disliked some of the houses intensely--so ugly and pretentious, so
inconvenient and dull; but even so it is pleasant in fancy to plan the
life one would live there, the rooms one would use. One house touched
me inexpressibly. It was a house I knew from the outside in a little
town where I used to go and spend a few weeks every year with an old
aunt of mine. The name of the little town--I saw it in an agent's
list--had a sort of enchantment for me, a golden haze of memory. I was
allowed a freedom there I was allowed nowhere else, I was petted and
made much of, and I used to spend most of my time in sauntering about,
just looking, watching, scrutinising things, with the hard and
uncritical observation of childhood. When I got to the place, I was
surprised to find that I knew well the look of the house I went to see,
though I had not ever entered it. Two neat, contented, slightly absurd
old maiden ladies had lived there, who used to walk out together,
dressed exactly alike in some faded fashion. The laurels and yews still
grew thickly in the shrubbery, and shaded the windows of the ugly
little parlours. An old, quiet, respectable maid showed me round; she
had been in service there for twenty years, and she was tearfully
lamenting over the break-up of the home. The old ladies had lived there
for sixty years. One of them had died ten years before, the other had
lingered on to extreme old age. The house was like a museum, a specimen
of a house of the thirties, in which nothing had ever been touched or
changed. The strange wall-papers and chintzes, the crewel-work chairs,
the mirrors, the light maple furniture, the case of moth-eaten
humming-birds, the dull engravings of historical pictures, the old
books--the drawing-room table was covered with annuals and keepsakes,
Moore's poems, Mrs. Barbauld's works--all had a pathetic ugliness,
redeemed by a certain consistency of quality. And then the poky,
comfortable arrangements, the bath-chair in the coach-house, the
four-post bedsteads, the hand-rail on the stairs, the sandbags for the
doors, all spoke of a timid, invalid life, a dim backwater in the tide
of things. There had been children there at some time, for there were
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