And now the whole thing was over for good. Curious and indifferent
people came, tramped about the house, pronounced it old-fashioned and
inconvenient. I could not do that myself; the place was brimful of the
pathetic evidences of what had been. Soon, no doubt, the old house
would wear a different guise--it would be renovated and restored, the
furniture would drift away to second-hand shops, the litter would be
thrown out upon the rubbish-heap. New lives, new relationships would
spring up; children would be born, boys would play, lovers would
embrace, sufferers would lie musing, men and women would die in those
refurbished rooms. Everything would drift onwards, and the lives to
whom each corner, each stair, each piece of furniture had meant so
much, would become a memory first, and then fade into nothingness.
Where and what were the two old ladies now? Were they gone out utterly,
like an extinguished flame? were they in some new home of tranquil
peace? Were they adjusting themselves with a sense of timid
impotence--those slender, tired spirits--to new and bewildering
conditions?
The old, dull house called to me that day with a hundred faint voices
and tremulous echoes. I could make nothing of it; for though it swept
the strings of my heart with a ghostly music, it seemed to have no
certain message for me, but the message of oblivion and silence.
I was sorry, as I went away, to leave the poor maidservant to her
lonely and desolate memories. She had to leave her comfortable kitchen
and her easy routine, for new duties and new faces, and I could see
that she anticipated the change with sad dismay.
It seemed to me in that hour as though the cruelty and the tenderness
of the world were very mysteriously blended--there was no lack of
tenderness in the old house with its innumerable small associations,
its sheltered calm. And then suddenly the stroke must fall, and fall
upon lives whose very security and gentleness seemed to have been so
ill a preparation for sterner and darker things. It would have been
more loving, one thought, either to have made the whole fabric more
austere, more precarious from the first; or else to have bestowed a
deep courage and a fertile hope, a firmer endurance, rather than to
have confronted lives so frail and delicate with the terrors of the
vast unknown.
April 8, 1890.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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