It came upon me as I walked among soft airs to-day. It was no bodily
lightness that moved me, for I was unstrung, listless, indolent; but it
was a sense that it was good to live, lonely and crushed as I was; that
there was something waiting for me which deserved to be approached with
a patient expectation--that life was enriched, rather than made
desolate by my grief and losses; that I had treasure laid up in heaven.
It came upon me as a fancy, but it was something better than that, that
one or other of my dear ones had perhaps awaked in the other world, and
had sent out a thought in search of me. I had often thought that if,
when we are born into this world of ours, our first years are so dumb
and unperceptive, it might be even so in the world beyond; that we are
there allowed to rest a little, to sleep; and that has seemed to me to
be perhaps the explanation why, in those first sad days of grief, when
the mourner aches to have some communication with the vanished soul,
and when the soul that has passed the bounds of life would be desiring
too, one would think, to send some message back, why, I say, there is
no voice nor hint nor sign. Perhaps the reason why our grief loses its
sting after a season is that the soul we have loved does contrive to
send some healing influence into the desolate heart.
I know not; but as I stood upon the hill-top to-day at evening, the
setting sun gilding the cloud-edges, and touching the horizon with a
delicate misty azure, my spirit did indeed awake with a smile, with a
murmured word of hope.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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