Sometimes on days like this, when the moisture hangs upon the hedges,
when the streams talk hoarsely to themselves in grassy channels, when
the road is full of pools, one is weary, unstrung and dissatisfied,
faint of purpose, tired of labour, desiring neither activity nor rest;
the soul sits brooding, like the black crows that I see in the leafless
wood beneath me, perched silent and draggled on the tree-tops, just
waiting for the sun and the dry keen airs to return; but to-day it is
not so; I am full of a quiet hope, an acquiescent tranquillity. My
heart talks gently to itself, as to an unseen friend, telling its
designs, its wishes, its activities. I think of those I hold dear, all
the world over; I am glad that they are alive, and believe that they
think of me. All the air seems full of messages, thoughts and
confidences and welcomes passing to and fro, binding souls to each
other, and all to God. There seems to be nothing that one needs to do
to-day except to live one's daily life; to be kind and joyful. To-day
the road of pilgrimage lies very straight and clear between its fences,
in an open ground, with neither valley nor hill, no by-path, no
turning. One can even see the gables and chimneys of some grave house
of welcome, "a roof for when the dark hours begin," full of pious
company and smiling maidens. And not, it seems, a false security; one
is not elated, confident, strong; one knows one's weakness; but I think
that the Lord of the land has lately passed by with a smile, and given
command that the pilgrims shall have a space of quiet. These birds,
these branching trees, have not yet lost the joy of His passing. There,
along the grassy tracks, His patient footsteps went, how short a time
ago! One does not hope that all the journey will be easy and
untroubled; there will be fresh burdens to be borne, dim valleys full
of sighs to creep through, dark waters to wade across; these feet will
stumble and bleed; these knees will be weary before the end; but to-day
there is no doubt about the pilgrimage, no question of the far-off
goal. The world is sad, perhaps, but sweet; sad as the homeless clouds
that drift endlessly across the sky from marge to marge; sweet as the
note of the hidden bird, that rises from moment to moment from the
copse beside me, again and yet again, telling of a little heart that is
content to wait, and not ill-pleased to be alone with its own soft
thoughts.
April 4, 1889.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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