desires are perfectly proportioned to their surroundings. He seems
indeed to be exactly what the human creature ought to be. And yet his
very virtues, his sense of justice and honesty, his sensible
kindliness, are the outcome of civilisation, and bear the stamp, in
reality, of the dreams of saints and sages and idealists--the men who
felt that things could be better, and who were made miserable by the
imperfections of the world. I cannot help wondering, in a whimsical
moment, what would have been the miller's thoughts of Christ, if he had
been confronted with Him in the flesh. He would have thought of Him
rather contemptuously, I think, as a bewildering, unpractical,
emotional man. The miller would not have felt the appeal of
unselfishness and unworldliness, because his ideal of life is tranquil
prosperity. He would have merely wondered why people could not hold
their tongues and mind their business: and yet he is a model citizen,
and would be deeply annoyed if he were told he were not a sincere
Christian. He accepts doctrinal statements as he would accept
mathematical formulae, and he takes exactly as much of the Christian
doctrine as suits him. Now when I compare myself with the miller, I
feel that, as far as human usefulness goes, I am far lower in the
scale. I am, when all is said and done, a drone in the hive, eating the
honey I did not make. I do not take my share in the necessary labour of
the world, I do not regulate a little community of labourers with
uprightness and kindness, as he does. But still I suppose that my more
sensitive organisation has a meaning in the scale of things. I cannot
have been made and developed as I am, outside of the purpose of God.
And yet my work in the world is not that of the passionate idealist,
that kindles men with the hope of bettering and amending the world.
What is it that my work does? It fills a vacant hour for leisurely
people, it gives agreeable distraction, it furnishes some pleasant
dreams. The most that I can say is that I have a wife whom I desire to
make happy, and children whom I desire to bring up innocently, purely,
vigorously.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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