Americans -- France -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Paris (France) -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Young men -- Fiction
“It’s not too late for _you_, on any side, and you don’t strike me as
in danger of missing the train; besides which people can be in general
pretty well trusted, of course—with the clock of their freedom ticking
as loud as it seems to do here—to keep an eye on the fleeting hour. All
the same don’t forget that you’re young—blessedly young; be glad of it
on the contrary and live up to it. Live all you can; it’s a mistake not
to. It doesn’t so much matter what you do in particular, so long as you
have your life. If you haven’t had that what _have_ you had? This place
and these impressions—mild as you may find them to wind a man up so;
all my impressions of Chad and of people I’ve seen at _his_ place—well,
have had their abundant message for me, have just dropped _that_ into
my mind. I see it now. I haven’t done so enough before—and now I’m old;
too old at any rate for what I see. Oh I _do_ see, at least; and more
than you’d believe or I can express. It’s too late. And it’s as if the
train had fairly waited at the station for me without my having had the
gumption to know it was there. Now I hear its faint receding whistle
miles and miles down the line. What one loses one loses; make no
mistake about that. The affair—I mean the affair of life—couldn’t, no
doubt, have been different for me; for it’s at the best a tin mould,
either fluted and embossed, with ornamental excrescences, or else
smooth and dreadfully plain, into which, a helpless jelly, one’s
consciousness is poured—so that one ‘takes’ the form as the great cook
says, and is more or less compactly held by it: one lives in fine as
one can. Still, one has the illusion of freedom; therefore don’t be,
like me, without the memory of that illusion. I was either, at the
right time, too stupid or too intelligent to have it; I don’t quite
know which. Of course at present I’m a case of reaction against the
mistake; and the voice of reaction should, no doubt, always be taken
with an allowance. But that doesn’t affect the point that the right
time is now yours. The right time is _any_ time that one is still so
lucky as to have. You’ve plenty; that’s the great thing; you’re, as I
say, damn you, so happily and hatefully young. Don’t at any rate miss
things out of stupidity. Of course I don’t take you for a fool, or I
shouldn’t be addressing you thus awfully. Do what you like so long as
you don’t make _my_ mistake. For it was a mistake. Live!” ... Slowly
and sociably, with full pauses and straight dashes, Strether had so
delivered himself; holding little Bilham from step to step deeply and
gravely attentive. The end of all was that the young man had turned
quite solemn, and that this was a contradiction of the innocent gaiety
the speaker had wished to promote. He watched for a moment the
consequence of his words, and then, laying a hand on his listener’s
knee and as if to end with the proper joke: “And now for the eye I
shall keep on you!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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