Humorous stories; Mistaken identity -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“This young man seems to meet the hereditary requirement, certainly.”
“Yes, yes, he was a fool, without any doubt. Examine the face, the
shape of the head, the expression. It’s all fool, fool, fool, straight
through.”
“Thanks,—” said Tracy, involuntarily.
“Thanks?”
“I mean for explaining it to me. Go on, please.”
“As I was saying, fool is printed all over the face. A body can even
read the _de_tails.”
“What do they say?”
“Well, added up, he is a wobbler.”
“A which?”
“Wobbler. A person that’s always taking a firm stand about something or
other—kind of a Gibraltar stand, _he_ thinks, for unshakable fidelity
and everlastingness—and then, inside of a little while, he begins to
wobble; no more Gibraltar there; no, sir, a mighty ordinary commonplace
weakling wobbling around on stilts. That’s Lord Berkeley to a dot, you
can _see_ it—_look_ at that sheep! But,—why are you blushing like
sunset! Dear sir, have I unwittingly offended in some way?”
“Oh, no indeed, no indeed. Far from it. But it always makes me blush to
hear a man revile his own blood.” He said to himself, “How strangely
his vagrant and unguided fancies have hit upon the truth. By accident,
he has described me. I am that contemptible thing. When I left England
I thought I knew myself; I thought I was a very Frederick the Great for
resolution and staying capacity; whereas in truth I am just a Wobbler,
simply a Wobbler. Well—after all, it is at least creditable to _have_
high ideals and give birth to lofty resolutions; I will allow myself
that comfort.” Then he said, aloud, “Could this sheep, as you call him,
breed a great and self-sacrificing idea in his head, do you think?
Could he meditate such a thing, for instance, as the renunciation of
the earldom and its wealth and its glories, and voluntary retirement to
the ranks of the commonalty, there to rise by his own merit or remain
forever poor and obscure?”
“_Could_ he? Why, look at him—look at this simpering self-righteous
mug! There is your answer. It’s the very thing he would think of. And
he would start in to do it, too.”
“And then?”
“He’d wobble.”
“And back down?”
“Every time.”
“Is that to happen with _all_ my—I mean would that happen to _all_ his
high resolutions?”
“Oh certainly—certainly. It’s the Rossmore of it.”
“Then this creature was fortunate to die! Suppose, for argument’s sake,
that I was a Rossmore, and—”
“It can’t be done.”
“Why?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account