Humorous stories; Mistaken identity -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“No, I shouldn’t call it that,” said Sellers, who was now placidly
walking up and down the room with his hands under his coat-tails and
listening to himself talk. “One could quite properly call it devilish
in another man, but not in the Senator. Your _term_ is right—perfectly
right—I grant that—but the application is wrong. It makes a great
difference. Yes, he is a marvelous character. I do not suppose that any
other statesman ever had such a colossal sense of humor, combined with
the ability to totally conceal it. I may except George Washington and
Cromwell, and perhaps Robespierre, but I draw the line there. A person
not an expert might be in Judge Hawkins’s company a lifetime and never
find out he had any more sense of humor than a cemetery.”
A deep-drawn yard-long sigh from the distraught and dreaming artist,
followed by a murmured, “Miserable, oh, miserable!”
“Well, no, I shouldn’t say _that_ about it, quite. On the contrary, I
admire his ability to conceal his humor even more if possible than I
admire the gift itself, stupendous as it is. Another thing—General
Hawkins is a thinker; a keen, logical, exhaustive, analytical
thinker—perhaps the ablest of modern times. That is, of course, upon
themes suited to his size, like the glacial period, and the correlation
of forces, and the evolution of the Christian from the caterpillar—any
of those things; give him a subject according to his size, and just
stand back and watch him think! Why you can see the place rock! Ah,
yes, you must know him; you must get on the inside of him. Perhaps the
most extraordinary mind since Aristotle.”
Dinner was kept waiting for a while for Miss Thompson, but as Gwendolen
had not delivered the invitation to her the waiting did no good, and
the household presently went to the meal without her. Poor old Sellers
tried everything his hospitable soul could devise to make the occasion
an enjoyable one for the guest, and the guest tried his honest best to
be cheery and chatty and happy for the old gentleman’s sake; in fact
all hands worked hard in the interest of a mutual good time, but the
thing was a failure from the start; Tracy’s heart was lead in his
bosom, there seemed to be only one prominent feature in the landscape
and that was a vacant chair, he couldn’t drag his mind away from
Gwendolen and his hard luck; consequently his distractions allowed
deadly pauses to slip in every now and then when it was his turn to say
something, and of course this disease spread to the rest of the
conversation—wherefore, instead of having a breezy sail in sunny
waters, as anticipated, everybody was bailing out and praying for land.
What _could_ the matter be? Tracy alone could have told, the others
couldn’t even invent a theory.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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