Humorous stories; Mistaken identity -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“Matter? Oh, nothing—nothing. I was only going to say”—but in his
flurry nothing occurred to him to say, for a moment; then by a lucky
inspiration he thought of something entirely sufficient for the
occasion, and brought it out with eloquent force: “Oh, how beautiful
you are! You take my breath away when you look like that.”
It was well conceived, well timed, and cordially delivered—and it got
its reward.
“Let me see. Where was I? Yes, my father’s earldom is pure moonshine.
Look at those dreadful things on the wall. You have of course supposed
them to be portraits of his ancestors, earls of Rossmore. Well, they
are not. They are chromos of distinguished Americans—all moderns; but
he has carried them back a thousand years by re-labeling them. Andrew
Jackson there, is doing what he can to be the late American earl; and
the newest treasure in the collection is supposed to be the young
English heir—I mean the idiot with the crape; but in truth it’s a
shoemaker, and not Lord Berkeley at all.”
“Are you sure?”
“Why of course I am. He wouldn’t look like that.”
“Why?”
“Because his conduct in his last moments, when the fire was sweeping
around him shows that he was a man. It shows that he was a fine,
high-souled young creature.”
Tracy was strongly moved by these compliments, and it seemed to him
that the girl’s lovely lips took on a new loveliness when they were
delivering them. He said, softly:
“It is a pity he could not know what a gracious impression his behavior
was going to leave with the dearest and sweetest stranger in the land
of—”
“Oh, I almost loved him! Why, I think of him every day. He is always
floating about in my mind.”
Tracy felt that this was a little more than was necessary. He was
conscious of the sting of jealousy. He said:
“It is quite right to think of him—at least now and then—that is, at
intervals—in perhaps an admiring way—but it seems to me that—”
“Howard Tracy, are you jealous of that dead man?”
He was ashamed—and at the same time not ashamed. He was jealous—and at
the same time he was not jealous. In a sense the dead man was himself;
in that case compliments and affection lavished upon that corpse went
into his own till and were clear profit. But in another sense the dead
man was not himself; and in that case all compliments and affection
lavished there were wasted, and a sufficient basis for jealousy. A tiff
was the result of the dispute between the two. Then they made it up,
and were more loving than ever. As an affectionate clincher of the
reconciliation, Sally declared that she had now banished Lord Berkeley
from her mind; and added, “And in order to make sure that he shall
never make trouble between us again, I will teach myself to detest that
name and all that have ever borne it or ever shall bear it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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