Humorous stories; Mistaken identity -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“Oh, now, Mr. Hawkins, you _can’t_ go that far. A body _can’t_ really
know it, you know. It isn’t _proved_ that he’s not what he says he is.”
Should he come out and make a clean breast of the whole wretched
business? Yes—at least the most of it—it ought to be done. So he set
his teeth and went at the matter with determination, but purposing to
spare the girl one pain—that of knowing that Tracy was a criminal.
“Now I am going to tell you a plain tale; one not pleasant for me to
tell or for you to hear, but we’ve got to stand it. I know all about
that fellow; and I _know_ he is no earl’s son.”
The girl’s eyes flashed, and she said:
“I don’t care a snap for that—go on!”
This was so wholly unexpected that it at once obstructed the narrative;
Hawkins was not even sure that he had heard aright. He said:
“I don’t know that I quite understand. Do you mean to say that if he
was all right and proper otherwise you’d be indifferent about the earl
part of the business?”
“Absolutely.”
“You’d be entirely satisfied with him and wouldn’t _care_ for his not
being an earl’s son,—that _being_ an earl’s son wouldn’t add any value
to him?”
“Not the least value that I would care for. Why, Mr. Hawkins, I’ve
gotten over all that day-dreaming about earldoms and aristocracies and
all such nonsense and am become just a plain ordinary nobody and
content with it; and it is to _him_ I owe my cure. And as to anything
being able to add a value to him, nothing can do that. He is the whole
world to me, just as he is; he comprehends _all_ the values there
are—then how can you _add_ one?”
“She’s pretty far gone.” He said that to himself. He continued, still
to himself, “I must change my plan again; I can’t seem to strike one
that will stand the requirements of this most variegated emergency five
minutes on a stretch. Without making this fellow a criminal, I believe
I will invent a name and a character for him calculated to disenchant
her. If it fails to do it, then I’ll know that the next rightest thing
to do will be to help her to her fate, poor thing, not hinder her.”
Then he said aloud:
“Well, Gwendolen—”
“I want to be called Sally.”
“I’m glad of it; I like it better, myself. Well, then, I’ll tell you
about this man Snodgrass.”
“Snodgrass! Is _that_ his name?”
“Yes—Snodgrass. The other’s his nom de plume.”
“It’s hideous!”
“I know it is, but we can’t help our names.”
“And that is truly his real name—and not Howard Tracy?”
Hawkins answered, regretfully:
“Yes, it seems a pity.”
The girl sampled the name musingly, once or twice—
“Snodgrass. Snodgrass. No, I could not endure that. I could not get
used to it. No, I should call him by his first name. What is his first
name?”
“His—er—his initials are S. M.”
“His initials? I don’t care anything about his initials. I can’t call
him by his initials. What do they _stand_ for?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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