Humorous stories; Mistaken identity -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“I mean that I didn’t begin to keep boarding-house yesterday. It means
that I am not the kind that can be taken in by every hack-driver’s son
that comes loafing over here because he can’t bum a living at home. It
means that you can’t skip out on any such—”
Tracy made a step toward the old man, but Mrs. Marsh sprang between,
and said:
“Don’t, Mr. Tracy, please.” She turned to her husband and said, “_Do_
bridle your tongue. What has he done to be treated so? Can’t you _see_
he has lost his mind, with trouble and distress? He’s not responsible.”
“Thank your kind heart, madam, but I’ve not lost my mind; and if I can
have the mere privilege of stepping to the telegraph office—”
“Well, you can’t,” cried Marsh.
“—or sending—”
“Sending! That beats everything. If there’s anybody that’s fool enough
to go on such a chuckle-headed errand—”
“Here comes Mr. Barrow—he will go for me. Barrow—”
A brisk fire of exclamations broke out—
“Say, Barrow, he’s expecting a cablegram!”
“Cablegram from his father, you know!”
“Yes—cablegram from the wax-figger!”
“And say, Barrow, this fellow’s an earl—take off your hat, pull down
your vest!”
“Yes, he’s come off and forgot his crown, that he wears Sundays. He’s
cabled over to his pappy to send it.”
“You step out and get that cablegram, Barrow; his majesty’s a little
lame to-day.”
“Oh stop,” cried Barrow; “give the man a chance.” He turned, and said
with some severity, “Tracy, what’s the matter with you? What kind of
foolishness is this you’ve been talking. You ought to have more sense.”
“I’ve not been talking foolishness; and if you’ll go to the telegraph
office—”
“Oh; don’t talk so. I’m your friend in trouble and out of it, before
your face and behind your back, for anything in _reason;_ but you’ve
lost your head, you see, and this moonshine about a cablegram—”
“_I’ll_ go there and ask for it!”
“Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Brady. Here, I’ll give you a
Written order for it. Fly, now, and fetch it. We’ll soon see!”
Brady flew. Immediately the sort of quiet began to steal over the crowd
which means dawning doubt, misgiving; and might be translated into the
words, “Maybe he _is_ expecting a cablegram—maybe he _has_ got a father
somewhere—maybe we’ve been just a little too fresh, just a shade too
‘previous’!”
Loud talk ceased; then the mutterings and low murmurings and
whisperings died out. The crowd began to crumble apart. By ones and
twos the fragments drifted to the breakfast table. Barrow tried to
bring Tracy in; but he said:
“Not yet, Barrow—presently.”
Mrs. Marsh and Hattie tried, offering gentle and kindly persuasions;
but he said;
“I would rather wait—till he comes.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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