Humorous stories; Mistaken identity -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“Oh, _you’re_ all right, yet,” said Barrow. “You see you’re not past
amusement.”
The pictures were fearful, as to color, and atrocious as to drawing and
expression; but the feature which squelched animosity and made them
funny was a feature which could not achieve its full force in a single
picture, but required the wonder-working assistance of repetition. One
loudly dressed mechanic in stately attitude, with his hand on a cannon,
ashore, and a ship riding at anchor in the offing,—this is merely odd;
but when one sees the same cannon and the same ship in fourteen
pictures in a row, and a different mechanic standing watch in each, the
thing gets to be funny.
“Explain—explain these aberrations,” said Tracy.
“Well, they are not the achievement of a single intellect, a single
talent—it takes two to do these miracles. They are collaborations; the
one artist does the figure, the other the accessories. The
figure-artist is a German shoemaker with an untaught passion for art,
the other is a simple hearted old Yankee sailor-man whose possibilities
are strictly limited to his ship, his cannon and his patch of petrified
sea. They work these things up from twenty-five-cent tintypes; they get
six dollars apiece for them, and they can grind out a couple a day when
they strike what they call a boost—that is, an inspiration.”
“People actually pay money for these calumnies?”
“They actually do—and quite willingly, too. And these abortionists
could double their trade and work the women in, if Capt. Saltmarsh
could whirl a horse in, or a piano, or a guitar, in place of his
cannon. The fact is, he fatigues the market with that cannon. Even the
male market, I mean. These fourteen in the procession are not all
satisfied. One is an old ‘independent’ fireman, and he wants an engine
in place of the cannon; another is a mate of a tug, and wants a tug in
place of the ship —and so on, and so on. But the captain can’t make a
tug that is deceptive, and a fire engine is many flights beyond his
power.”
“This _is_ a most extraordinary form of robbery, I never have heard of
anything like it. It’s interesting.”
“Yes, and so are the artists. They are perfectly honest men, and
sincere. And the old sailor-man is full of sound religion, and is as
devoted a student of the Bible and misquoter of it as you can find
anywhere. I don’t know a better man or kinder hearted old soul than
Saltmarsh, although he does swear a little, sometimes.”
“He seems to be perfect. I want to know him, Barrow.”
“You’ll have the chance. I guess I hear them coming, now. We’ll draw
them out on their art, if you like.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account