The bride is awakened from her delightful dream, in which carpets,
vases, sofas, white gloves, and pearl earrings, are oddly jumbled up
with her lover's looks and promises. Perhaps she would be surprised
if she knew exactly how _much_ of the fascination of being engaged
was owing to the aforesaid inanimate concern. Be that as it will, she
is awakened by the unpleasant conviction that cares devolve upon her.
And what effect does this produce upon her character? Do the holy and
tender influences of domestic love render self-denial and exertion a
bliss? No! They would have done so, had she been _properly educated_;
but now she gives way to unavailing fretfulness and repining; and
her husband is at first pained, and finally disgusted, by hearing,
'I never knew what care was when I lived in my father's house.' 'If
I were to live my life over again, I would remain single as long as
I could, without the risk of being an old maid.' How injudicious, how
short-sighted is the policy, which thus mars the whole happiness of
life, in order to make a few brief years more gay and brilliant! I
have known many instances of domestic ruin and discord produced by
this mistaken indulgence of mothers. _I never knew but one, where
the victim had moral courage enough to change all her early habits._
She was a young, pretty, and very amiable girl; but brought up to be
perfectly useless; a rag baby would, to all intents and purposes,
have been as efficient a partner. She married a young lawyer, without
property, but with good and increasing practice. She meant to be a
good wife, but she did not know how. Her wastefulness involved him in
debt. He did not reproach, though he tried to convince and instruct
her. She loved him; and weeping replied, 'I try to do the best I can;
but when I lived at home, mother always took care of everything.'
Finally, poverty came upon him 'like an armed man;' and he went into
a remote town in the Western States to teach a school. His wife folded
her hands, and cried; while he, weary and discouraged, actually came
home from school to cook his own supper. At last, his patience, and
her real love for him, impelled her to exertion. She promised to
learn to be useful, if he would teach her. And she did learn! And the
change in her habits gradually wrought such a change in her husband's
fortune, that she might bring her daughters up in idleness, had not
experience taught her that economy, like grammar, is a very hard and
tiresome study, after we are twenty years old.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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