Artemus Ward, in one of his letters, thus gives his idea of reorganization:--"I never attempted to reorganize my wife but once. I shall never attempt it again. I'd bin to a public dinner, and had allowed myself to be betrayed into drinkin' several people's health, and wishin' to make 'em as robust as possible, I continued drinkin' their healths until my own became affected. Consekens was, I presented myself at Betsy's bedside late at nite, with considerable licker concealed about my person. I had somehow got perseschum of a hosswhip on my way home, and rememberin' some cranky observashuns of Mrs. Ward's in the morin', I snapt the whip putty lively, and in a very loud voice I said, Betsy--I continued crackin' the whip over the bed--I have come to reorganize you! I dreamed that nite that sumbody laid a hosswhip over me sev'ril conseckootive times; and when I woke up I found _she_ had. I haint drunk much of anythin' since, and if I ever have another reorganizin' job on hand I shall let it out." A RECEIPT IN FULL.--476. A German in New York being required to give a receipt in full, after much mental effort produced the following:--"I ish full. I wants no more money. John Swackhammer." Perhaps the sententious Tueton was full of lager beer. A SUDDEN DECLARATION.--477. A young gentleman happening to sit at church in a pew adjoining one in which sat a young lady, for whom he conceived a sudden and violent passion, was desirous of entering into a courtship on the spot, but the place not suiting a formal declaration, the exigency of the case suggested the following plan:--He politely handed his fair neighbour a Bible open, with a pin stuck in the following text:--Second Epistle of John, verse fifth--"And now I beseech thee lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment unto thee, but that which we had from the beginning, that we love one another." She returned it pointing to the second chapter of Ruth, verse tenth--"Then she fell on her face and bowed herself to the ground, and said unto him 'Why have I found grace in thine eyes, seeing that I am a stranger?'" He returned the book, pointing to the thirteenth verse of the Third Epistle of St. John--"Having many things to write unto you, I would not write with paper and ink, but I trust to come unto you, and speak face to face, that our joy may be full." From the above interview a marriage took place the ensuing week. A VOCATION.--478. "You're a loafer--a man without a calling," said a judge to a person arrested as a vagrant. "I beg your pardon, your honour, I have a vocation." "What is it?" "I smoke glass for eclipses, but just now it is our dull season." MAJOR DOWNING IN LONDON.--479. The Queen regretted that she could not invite me to stay to dinner, cause 'twas washin' day in the palace, and they only had a pick-up dinner. ANY BETTER THAN NONE.--480.