The American Joe Miller: A Collection of Yankee Wit and Humor
Philosophy
The American Joe Miller: A Collection of Yankee Wit and Humor
American wit and humor
A dog, which had lost the whole of her interesting family, was seen
trying to poke a piece of crape through the handle of the door of one
of the sausage shops in this city.
DANIEL WEBSTER'S COURTSHIP.--511.
The manner of Daniel Webster's engagement to Miss Fletcher is thus
pleasantly described by a letter writer:--"He was then a young lawyer.
At one of his visits to Miss Grace Fletcher he had, probably with a
view of utility and enjoyment, been holding skeins of silk thread
for her, when suddenly he stopped, saying, 'Grace, we have thus been
engaged in untying knots, let us see if we can tie a knot; one which
will not untie for a lifetime.' He then took a piece of tape, and
after beginning a knot of a peculiar kind gave it her to complete.
This was the ceremony and ratification of their engagement. And now
in the little box marked by him with the words 'precious documents,'
containing the letters of his early courtship, this unique memorial is
still to be found--the knot never untied."
PRESENTED AT COURT.--512.
An American who had returned from Europe, told his friend that he had
been presented at the court there. "Did you see the Queen?" asked one.
"Well, no, I didn't see her zacly, but I seed one of her friends--a
judge. Yer see," he continued, "the court I was presented at happened
to be the Central Criminal Court."
CRITICAL.--513.
A Western critic, in speaking of a new play, says:--"The unities are
admirably observed; the dulness, which commences with the first act,
never flags for a moment until the curtain falls."
HARD FEATHERS.--514.
An American sitting on a very hard seat in a railway carriage, said,
"Wal, they tell me these here cushions air stuffed with feathers.
They may have put the feathers in 'em, but darn me if _I don't think
they've left the fowls in too_!"
SNORING IN CHURCH.--515.
The _Boston Bee_ contains the following polite hint:--"Deacon ---- is
requested not to commence snoring in church to-morrow morning until
after the commencement of the sermon, as several of the congregation
are anxious to hear the text."
PROFESSOR EVERETT AND JUDGE STORY.--516.
Professor Everett, once the American ambassador to this country, was
entertained at a public dinner before leaving Boston. Judge Story gave
as a sentiment--"Genius is sure to be welcome where Ever-ett goes."
Everett responded--"Law, Equity, and Jurisprudence: no efforts can
raise them above one Story."
LOVE-LETTER INK.--517.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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