A soldier on trial for habitual drunkenness was addressed by the president--"Prisoner, you have heard the prosecution for habitual drunkenness, what have you to say in defence?" "Nothing, please your honour, but habitual thirst." STONING STEPHEN.--542. The _Buffalo Democracy_ narrates this story of one of the miniature men, vulgarly called children:--"A teacher in a Sunday-school in R---- was examining a class of little boys from a Scripture catechism. The first question was, 'Who stoned Stephen?'--_Answer_: 'The Jews.'--Second question: 'Where did they stone him?'--'Beyond the limits of the city.'--The third question: 'Why did they take him beyond the limits of the city?' was not in the book, and proved a poser to the whole class; it passed from head to foot without an answer being attempted. At length a little fellow who had been scratching his head all the while looked up, and said, 'Well, I don't know, unless it was to get _a fair fling at him_!'" VIRGINIAN ELOQUENCE.--543. Mr. Wise, of Virginia, in a late speech, is reported to have said respecting that State, "She has an iron chain of mountains running through her centre, which God has placed there to milk the clouds, and be the source of her silver rivers." The _Rochester American_ remarks--"The figure is borrowed from the New York milkmen, who milk the clouds as much as they do their cows, and draw from the former the most palatable and healthful portion of the compound fluid." YANKEE FACTORY GIRLS.--544. In one of the factories in Maine the proprietor recently reduced the wages, whereupon there was a general determination to "strike;" and as the girls were obliged to give a month's notice before quitting work, they have meanwhile issued a circular to the world at large, in which is the following interesting paragraph:--"We are now working out our notice, and shall soon be without employment; can turn our hands to 'most anything; don't like to be idle--but determined not to work for nothing when folks can afford to pay. Who wants help? We can make bonnets, dresses, puddings, pies, and cakes, patch, darn, and knit, roast, stew, and fry; make butter and cheese, milk cows and feed chickens, and hoe corn; sweep out the kitchen, put the parlour to rights, make beds, split wood, kindle fires, wash and iron, besides being remarkably fond of babies; in fact, can do anything the most accomplished housewife is capable of--not forgetting the scoldings on Mondays and Saturdays. For specimens of spirit we refer you to our overseer. Speak quick. Black eyes, fair foreheads, clustering locks, beautiful as a Hebe, can sing like a seraph, and smile most bewitchingly. An elderly gentleman in want of a housekeeper, or a nice young man in want of a wife--willing to sustain any character; in fact, we are in the market. Who bids? Going--going--gone! Who's the lucky man?" FALLING IN LOVE.--545.