JOSH BILLINGS. HER MARRIAGE GIFT.--627. A country girl, desirous of matrimony, received from her mistress a twenty dollar bill for her marriage gift. Her mistress desired to see the object of Susan's favour, and a diminutive fellow, swarthy as a Moor, and ill-favoured generally, made his appearance. "Oh, Susan!" said her mistress, "how small; what a strange choice you have made." "La, ma'am," answered Sue, "in such hard times as these, when all tall and handsome fellows are off to the war, what more of a man than this would you expect for twenty dollars?" A FINE STREAM.--628. A Philadelphia judge, well known for his love of jokes, advertised a farm for sale, with a fine stream of water running through it. A few days afterwards a gentleman called on him to speak about it. "Well, judge," said he, "I have been over that farm you advertised for sale the other day, and find all right, except the find stream of water you mentioned."--"It runs through the piece of wood in the lower part of the meadow," said the judge.--"What, that little brook? Why, it does not hold much more than a spoonful. I am sure if you empty a bowl of water into it it would overflow. You don't call that a fine stream, do you?"--"Why, if it was a little finer you couldn't see it at all," said the judge, blandly. KNOWING, AND NOT KNOWING.--629. "Never go to bed," said a father to his son, "without knowing something you did not know in the morning." "Yes, sir," replied the youth, "I went to bed tipsy last night; didn't dream of such a thing in the morning." WAR PHRASES.--630. The Confederates at Atlanta were in the habit of throwing immense 64-pound shells. When these were seen coming, the Federal soldiers would warn each other by such expressions as "Look out for the cart-wheel!" "There comes an anchor!" "Look out for that blacksmith's shop!" FOND OF SOCIETY.--631. A lady, who was in the habit of spending a large portion of her time in the society of her neighbours, happened one day to be taken suddenly ill, and sent her husband in great haste for a physician. The husband ran a few rods, but soon returned, exclaiming: "My dear, where shall I find you when I get back?" ARTEMUS WARD'S COURTSHIP.--632.