The American Joe Miller: A Collection of Yankee Wit and Humor
Philosophy
The American Joe Miller: A Collection of Yankee Wit and Humor
American wit and humor
In one of the fierce engagements with the rebels near Mechanicsville,
in May last, a young lieutenant of a Rhode Island battery had his
right foot so shattered by a fragment of a shell that on reaching
Washington he was obliged to undergo amputation of the leg. He
telegraphed home, hundreds of miles away, that all was going well, and
with a soldier's fortitude composed himself to bear his sufferings
alone. Unknown to him, however, his mother, one of those dear reserves
of the army, hastened up to join the main force. She reached the city
at midnight, and the nurses would have kept her from him until the
morning. One sat by his side fanning him as he slept, her hand on the
feeble fluctuating pulsations which foreboded sad results. But what
woman's heart could resist the pleadings of a mother then? In the
darkness she was finally allowed to glide in and take the place at his
side. She touched his pulse as the nurse had done, not a word had been
spoken, but the sleeping boy opened his eyes and said, "That feels
like my mother's hand; who is this beside me? It is my mother; turn up
the gas and let me see mother!" The two dear faces met in one long,
joyful, sobbing embrace, and the fondness pent up in each heart sobbed
and panted and wept forth its expression.
CANINE RESEMBLANCE.--180.
A Boston paper says their townsman, Abel Sniggs, has a dog so closely
resembling one belonging to Tom Clegg, that it often happens that
Clegg's dog takes himself into Sniggs's house, and does not discover
his mistake until informed by the _cat_.
MARRIAGE AND SINGLE BLESSEDNESS.--181.
We subjoin a curious specimen of verse, which is both ingenious
and witty, and admits of being read in two ways. To suit the taste
and inclinations of the married, or those who propose marriage, we
transcribe it as follows; but to convey a directly opposite sentiment,
for the benefit of the singly blessed, it will be necessary to
alternate the lines, reading the first and third, then the second and
fourth:--
"That man must lead a happy life
Who is directed by a wife;
Who's freed from matrimonial claims
Is sure to suffer for his pains.
"Adam could find no solid peace
Till he beheld a woman's face;
When Eve was given him for a mate,
Adam was in a happy state.
"In all the female race appear
Truth, darling of a heart sincere,
Hypocrisy, deceit, and pride,
In woman never did reside.
"What tongue is able to unfold
The worth in woman we behold?
The failings that in woman dwell
Are almost imperceptible.
"Confusion take the men, I say,
Who no regard to women pay.
Who make the women their delight
Keep always reason in their sight."
A "FOREST-BORN" ORATOR.--182.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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