Benjamin Franklin, when a child, found the long graces used by his father before and after meals very tedious. One day after the winter's provisions had been salted, "I think father," said Benjamin, "if you were to say _grace_ over the whole cask once for all, it would be a great saving of time." PAINTING TO THE LIFE.--348. Slick says: "I think, without bragging, I may say I can take things off to the life. Once I drawed a mutton chop so nateral, my dog broke his teeth in tearing the panel to pieces to get at it; and at another time I painted a shingle so like stone, when I threw it into the water, it sunk right kerlash to the bottom." COLUMBUS AND THE EGG.--349. Columbus, speaking with great humility of his discovery of America, some of the company spoke in very depreciating terms of the expedition. "There is no more difficulty," replied Columbus, "than in putting this egg on its end." They tried the experiment, and all failed. Columbus, breaking a little off the end, set it upright. The company sneered at the contrivance. "Thus," observed Columbus, "a thing appears very easy after it is done." THE HEAVENLY "BODIES."--350. "Mamma, mamma," cried a little one, whose early hour of retirement had not permitted much study of the starry heavens, "here is the moon come, and brought a sight of little babies with her!" THE HAPPIEST OF VOWELS.--351. One of the neatest and latest conundrums is as follows:--"Why is i the happiest of vowels? Because it is in the midst of bliss; e is in hell, and all the others in purgatory." A TOUGH YANKEE.--352. A friend writes of a Yankee boasting an inveterate hatred of everything British, living in a neighbouring city with a colonist family. He takes every opportunity to have a slap at Brother Bull, and the colonist does what he can to defend the venerable gentleman. "You are arguing," said the colonist, "against your ancestors." "No, I'm not." "Who was your father?" "A Yankee." "Who were your forefathers?" "Yankees." "Who were Adam and Eve?" "Yankees, by thunder!" USED TO IT.--353. Major N----, upon being asked if he was seriously hurt at the bursting of a boiler on a steamboat, replied that he was not, as he had been blowed up so many times by his wife that a mere steamboat explosion had no effect upon him whatever. QUOTING HIS FATHER.--354. A broker, whose mind was always full of quotations, was asked a few days since how old his father was. "Well," said he, abstractedly, "he is quoted at eighty, but there is every prospect he will reach par, and possibly be at a premium." WHY THE WAR GOES ON.--355.