The dreamy far-off smile with which she finished the sentence was more
eloquent than words, and I was not surprised when some time later I read
of her engagement to Mr. Ashley.
But it was not till she could sign herself with his name that she told
me just what underlay the misery of that night. She had met Harrison
Ashley more than once before, and, though she did not say so, had
evidently conceived an admiration for him which made her especially
desirous of attracting and pleasing him. Not understanding the world
very well, certainly having very little knowledge of the tastes and
feelings of wealthy people, she conceived that the more brilliantly she
was attired the more likely she would be to please this rich young man.
So in a moment of weakness she decided to devote all her small savings
(a hundred dollars, as we know) to buying a gown such as she felt she
could appear in at his house without shame.
It came home, as dresses from French dressmakers are very apt to do,
just in time for her to put it on for the party. The bill came with it
and when she saw the amount--it was all itemized and she could find no
fault with anything but the summing up--she was so overwhelmed that she
nearly fainted. But she could not give up her ball; so she dressed
herself, and, being urged all the time to hurry, hardly stopped to give
one look at the new and splendid gown which had cost so much. The
bill--the incredible, the enormous bill--was all she could think of, and
the figures, which represented nearly her whole year's earnings, danced
constantly before her eyes. How to pay it--but she could not pay it, nor
could she ask her father to do so. She was ruined; but the ball, and Mr.
Ashley--these still awaited her; so presently she worked herself up to
some anticipation of enjoyment, and, having thrown on her cloak, was
turning down her light preparatory to departure, when her eye fell on
the bill lying open on her dresser.
It would never do to leave it there--never do to leave it anywhere in
her room. There were prying eyes in the house, and she was as ashamed of
that bill as she might have been of a contemplated theft. So she tucked
it in her corsage and went down to join her friends in the carriage.
The rest we know, all but one small detail which turned to gall whatever
enjoyment she was able to get out of the early evening. There was a
young girl present, dressed in a simple muslin gown. While looking at it
and inwardly contrasting it with her own splendor, Mr. Ashley passed by
with another gentleman and she heard him say:
"How much better young girls look in simple white than in the elaborate
silks only suitable for their mothers!"
Thoughtless words, possibly forgotten as soon as uttered, but they
sharply pierced this already sufficiently stricken and uneasy breast and
were the cause of the tears which had aroused my suspicion when I came
upon her in the library, standing with her face to the night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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