"All this time I knew that I was not my aunt's only niece; that Dorothy
Camerden, of whom I knew little but her name, was as closely related to
her as I was. For, true to her heartless code, my aunt had placed us in
separate schools and we had never met. When she found that I was to
leave her and that soon there would be nobody to see that her dresses
were bought with discretion, and her person attended to with something
like care, she sent for Dorothy. I shall never forget my first
impression of her. I had been told that I need not expect much in the
way of beauty and style, but from my first glimpse of her dear face, I
saw that my soul's friend had come and that, marriage or no marriage, I
need never be solitary again.
"I do not think I made as favorable an impression on my cousin as she
did on me. Dorothy was new to elaborate dressing and to all the follies
of fashionable life, and her look had more of awe than expectation in
it. But I gave her a hearty kiss and in a week she was as brilliantly
equipped as myself.
"I loved her, but, from blindness of eye or an overwhelming egotism
which God has certainly punished, I did not consider her beautiful. This
I must acknowledge to you, if only to complete my humiliation. I never
imagined for a moment, even after I became the daily witness of your
many attentions to her, that it was on her account you visited the house
so often. I had been so petted and spoiled since entering society that
I thought you were kind to her simply because honor forbade you
to be too kind to me; and seeing in you a man different from the
others--one--who--who pleased me as the heroes of my old romances had
pleased me, I gave you all my heart and, what was worse, _confided my
folly to Dorothy_.
"You will have many a talk with her in the future, and some day she may
succeed in proving to you that it was vanity and not badness of heart
which led me to misunderstand your feelings. Having repressed my own
impulses so long, I saw in your reticence the evidences of a like
struggle; and when, immediately upon my break with Mr. Sinclair, you
entered here and said the words you did--Well, we have finished with
this subject for ever.
"The explanations which I gave below, of the part I played in my aunt's
death were true. I only omitted one detail, which you may consider a
very important one. The fact which paralyzed my hand and voice when I
saw her lift the drop of death to her lips was this: I had meant to die
by this drop myself, in Dorothy's room, and with Dorothy's arms about
me. This was my secret--a secret which no one can blame me for keeping
as long as I could, and one which I should hardly have the courage to
disclose to you now if I had not already parted with it to the coroner,
who would not credit my story till I had told him the whole truth."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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