"Gilbertine," I prayed, for I saw her fingers closing upon the knob she
had held lightly till now, "do not go till I have said this. A young
girl does not always know the demands of her own nature. The heart you
have ignored is one in a thousand. Do not let it slip from you. God
never gives a woman such a love twice."
"I know it," she murmured, and turned the knob.
I thought she was gone, and let the sigh which had been laboring at my
breast have vent, when suddenly I caught one last word whispered from
the threshold:
"Throw back the shutters and let in the light. Dorothy is coming. I am
going now to call her."
An hour had passed, the hour of hours for me, for in it the sun of my
happiness rose full-orbed and Dorothy and I came to understand each
other. We were sitting hand in hand in this blessed little boudoir, when
suddenly she turned her sweet face toward me and gently remarked:
"This seems like selfishness on our part; but Gilbertine insisted. Do
you know what she is doing now? Helping old Mrs. Cummings and holding
Mrs. Barnstable's baby while her maid packs. She will work like that all
day, and with a smile, too. Oh, it is a rich nature, an ideal nature! I
think we can trust her now."
I did not like to discuss Gilbertine even with Dorothy, so I said
nothing. But she was too full of her theme to stop. I think she wished
to unburden her mind once and for ever of all that had disturbed it.
"Our aunt's death," she continued, "will be a sort of emancipation for
her. I don't think you, or any one out of our immediate household, can
realize the control which Aunt Hannah exerted over every one who came
within her daily influence. It would have been the same had she occupied
a dependent position instead of being the wealthy autocrat she was. In
her cold nature dwelt an imperiousness which no one could withstand. You
know how her friends, some of them as rich and influential as herself,
bowed to her will and submitted to her interference. What, then, could
you expect from two poor girls entirely dependent upon her for
everything they enjoyed? Gilbertine, with all her spirit, could not face
Aunt Hannah's frown, while I studied to have no wishes. Had this been
otherwise, had we found a friend instead of a tyrant in the woman who
took us into her home, Gilbertine might have gained more control over
her feelings. It was the necessity she felt of smothering her natural
impulses, and of maintaining in the house and before the world an
appearance of satisfaction in her position as bride-elect, which caused
her to fall into such extremes of despondency and deep despair. Her
self-respect was shocked. She felt that she was living a lie and hated
herself in consequence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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