"The clouds are very dark, David," Joseph answered. "But they will
break. The dawn of the Lord is at hand, and deliverance is sure. But I,
too, at this moment, am full of gloom and sorrow. You know my bad hours,
old friend. One of them is with me now. I fear some calamity, though I
pray against it. But it is coming. Something tells me it is coming. It
is as if I heard slow footsteps drawing nearer and nearer----"
David looked anxiously at his chief.
"I doubt but you've been doing something that's taken power from you,
Master," he said. "It has ever been thus with you. Have you not told us
of the night when we went to the theatre-house, the home of the ungodly,
when you walked the streets of Babylon, and were full of doubt, though
you had struck a blow for God that rang through England? And what
happened then? Did you not meet the young man who is great in the eyes
of the world--the young man who has given a fortune for our work--the
young man who has come to Jesus at last?"
Joseph bowed his head.
"Yes, David," he replied; "it was even so, blessed be God. But to-night
I feel differently. Then I was trembling upon the verge of doubt. My old
disbelief had appeared again within me. It was as if a serpent slept in
my brain and suddenly raised its head in coiled hate and enmity to the
Light. But now it is not the same. I love and believe. The tortures of
a martyrdom, of which I am not worthy, could not alter that. But I have
a terrible apprehension--a fear of what to-morrow may bring forth. I
cannot explain it; I do not understand it. But nevertheless it is there,
and very real."
There was a silence in the big room.
The gas-jets shone upon the walls covered in faded crimson paper, the
long table of deal where the brethren ate their simple meals, the single
picture which hung over the fireplace--a reproduction of Christ knocking
at the door of the human heart, by Holman Hunt.
There was no sound but that of a falling coal in the glowing fire.
Then old David spoke.
"Master," he said, "I think you've no call to be afraid or to fear the
future. It's in God's hands, and there it is. But as far as a poor man
can look into the matter, I think 'tis this way with you. We all know
how blessed you have been. We all know--every one in Britain knows--that
you are a special channel for the operations of the Holy Ghost in our
land. Out of all men you have been mysteriously chosen to hear the
heavenly voices and carry out their warnings. But all men are soul and
body, too. You can't divide one from t'other while men live. Therefore
it's bound to be that if your soul has been working hard on God's
business, it has drained your body of its strength, and so you have
these fearful thoughts. Eat and drink, and get back courage!"
Joseph smiled.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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