It was some ten days after the events of the thunderstorm, and Evelyn,
who had returned to London the day after, was in his studio working at
the portrait of Philip. The last ten days had passed for him like an
evil dream--a dream, too, unfortunately from which there was no prospect
whatever of waking. Indeed, as the dream went on it seemed to gain in
its ghastly vividness; every day that passed repeated the effect of it,
and stamped its reality deeper. But with good sense that did him credit,
instead of brooding desolately over his lot, or driving himself half-mad
with the thought of Madge, he turned with a sort of demented fury to his
work, and day after day painted till he could no longer see, not leaving
off till his brain was dull and almost incapable of further thought. But
though nervous, excitable and highly-strung, he was luckily also very
strong, and believed that he was capable, at any rate, of going on at
this frightful high pressure anyhow till the marriage had taken place.
When that was accomplished, he felt that the tension of the suspense
would be lightened; he might himself, it is true, drop like a stone in
the sea, but the struggle would then be over, he would not battle any
longer to try to keep afloat. In the inside pocket of his coat he kept
the note that he had received from Lady Ellington; it was soiled and
wilted with much handling and re-reading, and simple and straightforward
(from a literary point of view) as it was, he had tried fifty
interpretations on each of those very intelligible sentences. But not
one contained a grain of comfort for him.
But though the whole fibre of his spiritual being was in so great and
agonising a state of unrest, he found that his eye and his hand had lost
not one particle of their powers of vision and execution. Sometimes, it
is true, it was rather hard to get to work; it seemed scarcely worth
while putting in a light or a shadow, but when once he had begun there
was no abatement in the brilliance of his skill, and though he only felt
a vague, far-away satisfaction in what he was doing, he brought all his
keenness of observation, all his dexterity of handling to his work.
Again, when his sitters were there, there was the same merciful
necessity of normal behaviour, and probably there was only one person
who saw him during these days who suspected that there was anything
wrong. This was Philip. But of what was wrong he had not the faintest
inkling.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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