unutterably better each day!
A wind came with the dawn itself, that scattered more dew on to him from
the rose-sprays overhead, and he slid out of the hammock to go into the
house to make his breakfast, stretching himself once or twice before he
went in to feel his muscles, the rigging of the ship of the body, all
twang sound and taut. Nor did it seem to him in any way unworthy that
even this physical fitness of his should give him such joy: it would,
indeed, have been a disgrace if it had been otherwise. For all the
sensations and functions of life were on one plane, and whether the
sweat poured from him as he dug the garden, or his teeth crushed a
nuthusk, or the great thigh-muscles strained as he mounted a hill, or
his ear was ravished with the fluting of a bush-bowered thrush, it was
all one; each was a function of life, and the sum of them was just joy.
But Philip; this morning he could not get Philip out of his head, for
detached from the world of men and women as he was, he could not help
pitying the blind, meaningless suffering of his old friend. For all
suffering to him was meaningless, he did not in himself believe that any
good could come out of it considered merely as suffering: much more
good, that is to say, would have come out of joy; this was withheld by
suffering, a thing almost criminal to his view. But he could realise,
and did, that all that Philip loved best had gone from him; it was as if
in his own case the sun and the moon had been plucked from the sky, or
water had ceased to flow, as if something vital in the scheme of things
was dead.
It seemed to him, then, with his mind full of Philip, very natural that
there should be a letter from him when the post came in that morning. It
ran thus:
DEAR TOM,--I had rather an unpleasant experience yesterday, for
suddenly in the middle of the morning I fainted dead off. It seemed
sensible to see a doctor, who of course said the usual
thing--overwork, overworry, go and rest completely for a time. He
was a sensible man, I've known him for years, and so I have decided
to do as he tells me.
Now you are such an old friend that I trust you to say "No" quite
frankly if you don't want me. I therefore ask you if I may come
down and stay with you a bit. I thought of going home, but I should
be alone there, as my mother is away just now, or on the point of
going, and I don't want to bring her back, and I really think I
should go crazy if I was alone. You seem to have found the secret
of happiness, and perhaps it might do me good to watch you. All
this is absolutely subject to your saying "No" quite frankly. Just
send it or the affirmative by telegram, will you, and I will arrive
or not arrive this evening. But I warn you I am not a cheerful
companion.--Yours,
PHILIP HOME.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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