On Evelyn, however, this same scene appeared to leave no trace of any
kind--and, indeed, there was no reason why it should, because it had
contained nothing that was new to him, and also because it had ended so
thoroughly satisfactorily. Madge had agreed with him about the
advisability of letting analysis alone for the future. He had, indeed,
this evening indulged in a little, and he found that there was nothing
in their mutual relations which he wanted altering, nothing which
alteration would not have spoiled. Not for a moment did he say that
there were not things in himself which he should have preferred vastly
different, but with a certain good sense he considered that in shaping
one's course in life one had to accept certain tendencies and
limitations in oneself, and, having granted them, to do one's best. And
he did not see that any perseverance or thought or pains on his part
could create in him what Merivale had called a conscience. His life was
honest, sober, and clean, not, it must be confessed, because morality
indicated that it should be, but because his artistic sense would be
hurt by its being other than that. It was sheer waste of time for him to
sit down and think about duty, because it really meant nothing to him;
he might as well have sat down and thought about Hebrew. But from the
kindliness and warmth of his nature his conclusions as regards conduct
were extraordinarily like those which the very finest sense of duty
would have dictated. Yet now and then, as when he had said that he was
sorry for Philip, but that nothing could have happened differently,
though Madge in word agreed with him, yet she, with her fine feminine
sense, knew that she agreed with him, but agreed somehow on a plane
quite different from his. That nothing could have happened differently
she knew in another way than his: deeply, fiercely, and whole-heartedly
as he loved her. For all her life up till now, her whole nature had lain
dormant; it had awoke all at once, and awoke to find that one person
only was there, even as Brunnhilde woke on the mountain top and saw
Siegfried. That awakening had been long delayed, but when it came it was
complete, like that thunder-clap when he had declared his love for her,
it deafened and paralysed all other senses; there was only one thing in
the world for her, and that was her love.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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