"And this, too," she said, "you must consider. How can you help Mr.
Dundas not to feel bitter and resentful, for he has more direct cause to
feel it than you, if you have that sort of thought in your heart? You
will be unable to help him, in the one way in which you perhaps can, if
you feel like that. Also, dear, supposing any one of us, Dover, I, Mr.
Osborne, had to become either Mr. Dundas or Lord Ellington, do you think
any of us could hesitate a moment? Do you not see that of all the people
who have been made miserable by this terrible accident, which of them
must be the most miserable?"
Then came the second outward sign from Madge. She took Lady Dover's hand
in both of hers.
"Don't judge me too hardly," she said. "I spoke very hastily, very
wrongly. I have been thinking of my own misery too much; I have not
thought enough about poor Evelyn. But I did not know there was such
sorrow in the world."
Lady Dover looked at her a moment, and drew her gently to a seat behind
some bushes. And her own pretty, neat face was suddenly puckered up.
"Oh, Madge," she said, "just let yourself go for ten minutes, and cry,
my dear, sob your heart out, as they say. Have a good cry, dear; it will
do you good. It is not cowardly, that--it helps one, it softens one, and
it makes one braver perhaps afterwards. Yes, dear, let it come."
And then the fountain of tears was unloosed, and those sobs, those deep
sobs which come from the heart of living and suffering men and women,
and are a sign and a proof, as it were, of their humanity, poured out.
Madge had surrendered, she had ceased to hold herself aloof; brave she
had been before, but brave in a sort of impenetrable armour of her own
reserve. But now she cast it aside, and the womanhood which her love for
Evelyn had begun to wake in her, came to itself and its own, more heroic
than it had been before, because the armour was cast aside, and she
stood defenceless, but fearless.
Before she went up again to Evelyn's room she wrote:
MY DEAR ELLINGTON,
I had no opportunity of speaking to you----
Then her pen paused; that was not quite honest, and she began again:
I ought to have just seen you before you went yesterday, and I must
ask your pardon that I did not. I just want to say this, that I am
more sorry for you than I can possibly tell you, and I ask you to
say to yourself, and to keep on saying to yourself, that it was in
no way your fault. Also perhaps you may like to know how entirely I
recognise that, and so, I know, will he.
You will wish, of course, to hear about him. He is going on very
well, though up to now they have kept him under morphia. He will be
quite blind, though. We must all try to make that affliction as
light as possible for him. And I want so much to make you promise
not to blame yourself. Please don't; there is no blame. It was
outside the control of any of us.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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