There was still one picture at which he could work, which he had not
looked at yet, nor even turned its easel round from the wall, and he
stood for some time in front of it, unable apparently to make up his
mind as to whether he would touch it or not. Then suddenly, with a
sharp, ill-humoured sort of tug, he wheeled it round. Yes, this was why
he could not touch Philip's portrait; here in front of him, dazzling and
brilliant, stood that which came between him and it. And as he looked
his eye cleared; it was as if a film, some material film, had been drawn
away from over it, and he examined his work with eager, critical
attention. Though ten minutes ago he could not paint, now he could not
help painting. He starved for the palette; his hands ached for the slimy
resistance of the paint dragged over the canvas. On the convex mirror,
which was to be on the wall behind the girl, reflecting her back and the
scarlet shimmering of her cloak, he had, like a child saving the
butteriest bit of toast till the end, reserved for the end the big
touches of light on the gilt frame. The more difficult, technical
painting of the mirror itself he had finished, putting the reflections
in rather more strongly than he wished them eventually to appear, for he
knew, with the artist's prescience, exactly how the lights on the gold
frame would tone them down. And it was with a smile of well-earned
satisfaction that he put these in now; he almost laughed to see how
accurately he had anticipated the result. Then, after some half-hour of
ecstatic pleasure--for at this stage every stroke told--he stepped back
and looked at it. Yes, that too was as he meant it--that too was
finished.
Slowly his eye dwelt next on the figure of the girl. Was Philip right
after all? Did it indeed need nothing more? He felt uncertain himself.
In ninety-nine other cases out of a hundred, if he had really not been
certain, there was no one's judgment which he would have more willingly
have deferred to than Philip's; but here he could not help connecting
his insistence that nothing more should be done with the subsequent
revelation that Madge did not wish to sit again to him. It was
impossible to disconnect the two; coincidences of that sort did not
happen.
Then the whole world of colour, of drawing, of his own inimitable art,
went grey and dead, and from its ashes rose, so to speak, the thought
that filled the universe for him, Madge herself. What, in heaven's name,
did it all mean? What had he done that she should treat him like this?
Search as he might, his conscience could find no accusation against him;
yet he could not either believe that this was a mere wilful freak on her
part. Then, again, he had called two days ago at an hour when she was
almost always in, and the man had not given him a "Not at home" direct;
he had gone upstairs. He felt absolutely certain that she had been in
and had refused to see him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account