The Arbiter: A NovelBell, Florence Eveleen Eleanore Olliffe, Lady
History
The Arbiter: A Novel
Bell, Florence Eveleen Eleanore Olliffe, Lady
Great Britain -- History -- Victoria, 1837-1901 -- Fiction; Spy stories
What a solution it would have been, Rendel felt, if he had indeed been
able to make up his mind to the step that Wentworth evidently thought he
might be contemplating--what an answer to everything! and as again that
burning recollection came over him he felt that, in spite of the courage
required for suicide, it would have required less courage to put himself
out of the world, beyond the possibility of its ever happening again,
than to remain in it and face what other agony of humiliation Fate might
have in store for him. But he was not alone, unfortunately; his own
destiny was not the only one in question. And if his words, his
intention, his faith in the future had meant anything at all when he
told Rachel that there was no sacrifice he would not be ready to make
for her, he was bound to go on doggedly and meet the worst. He walked
aimlessly through the wood, higher and higher, until he reached a sort
of clearing from which he could see, far below him, the white road
winding back again to Schleppenheim, and presently as he looked he saw
driving rapidly back in the direction of the town the open carriages
containing the people he had just left. Stamfordham must be in one of
them. What were they saying about him, those people? Or, if not saying,
what were they thinking? Could he ever look one of them in the face
again? Not one. And again he had a wild moment of thinking that it would
be possible to put the thing right, to establish his innocence, to
insist upon knowing how it was that Sir William Gore had given the
information to the _Arbiter_, on knowing what the arrangement was with
Pateley on which that _coup de theatre_ had depended, and he sprang to
his feet with the determination that he would go straight back into
Schleppenheim, seek out Pateley and insist upon knowing what had
happened. Then, just as before, the revulsion came. The principal thing,
he had no need to ask Pateley. He knew, and that was the thing other
people might not know. In a little while, he was told, Rachel would be
herself again, and perhaps able to remember: she must not come back to
the knowledge of something that must be such a cruel blow to her faith
in her father, her adoring love for him. And yet as he turned downwards
and strode hurriedly back along the woodland paths, across the shafts of
sunlight which were growing longer as the day wore on, he felt how
absurdly, horribly unequal the two things were that were at stake. On
the one hand his own future, his success, his whole life, all the
possibilities he had dreamt of; on the other, reprobation falling on one
who was beyond the reach of it, one who had no longer any possibilities,
who had nothing to lose, whose hopes and fears of worldly success, whose
agitations had been for ever stilled by the hand of death. And Rachel?
Would the suffering of knowing that her father's memory was attacked, of
being rudely awakened from her illusions to find that in the eyes of the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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