"Better split it," remarked Louis, "than stop all driving. Poor fellow,
I'm sorry for him; nothing hurts like having your pride dragged in the
mud, and nothing brings keener suffering--I've seen it and know. Why
didn't you brace him up again, High-Muck?"
"I did try, but it was too late. Just before he died he wrote me the old
refrain: 'At twenty-five I might have weathered it, but not at fifty.'"
Herbert drew his chair closer, assuming his favorite gesture, his hands
on the edge of the table.
"I say 'poor fellow' too, Louis, but High-Muck has not put his finger on
the right spot. It was not the man's pride that was wounded; nor did he
die of a broken heart. He died because he had not reached his pinnacle,
and that is quite a different thing. What blinded him and destroyed his
reason--for it cannot be thought very sensible for a man to abandon a
certain fixed income for a rainbow--was not your reviving his belief in
himself, but your giving him, for the first time, an opportunity to
spread his wings. But for that you could not have persuaded him to write
a line. The pitiful thing was that the wings were not large
enough--still they were _wings_ to be used in the air of romance, and
not legs with which to tread the roads of the commonplace, and he knew
it. He had felt them growing ever since he was a boy. It is only a
question of the spread of one's feathers, after all, whether one
succeeds soaring over mountains with a view of the never-ending Valley
of Content below, or whether one keeps on grovelling in the mud."
As Herbert paused a tremulous silence fell upon the group. That he, of
all men, should thus penetrate, if not espouse, the cause of
failure--the hardest of all things for a man of phenomenal success to
comprehend or excuse in his fellows--came as a new note.
"To illustrate this theory," he continued, unconscious of the effect he
had produced, "I will tell you about a man whom I once came across in
one of the studios of Paris, back of the Pantheon. All his life he had
determined to be a sculptor--and when I say 'determined' I mean he had
thought of nothing else. By day he worked in the atelier, at night he
drew from a cast--a custom then of the young sculptors. In the Louvre
and in the Luxembourg--out in the gardens of the Tuileries--wherever
there was something moulded or cut into form, there at odd hours you
could always find this enthusiast. At night too, when the other students
were trooping through the Quartier, breaking things or outrunning the
gendarmes, this poor devil was working away, doing Ledas and Venuses and
groups of nudes, with rearing horses and chariots,--all the trite
subjects a young sculptor attempts whose imagination outruns his
ability.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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