The Army Mule, and Other War SketchesCastle, Henry A. (Henry Anson)
History
The Army Mule, and Other War Sketches
Castle, Henry A. (Henry Anson)
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865; United States. Army -- Military life
"Nye's method of 'stringing' people," said Mr. Riley, "was
entertaining always, but never cruel and never earned him the
resentment of the people who were the victims of it. One of the most
artistic cases of this sort I recall was the way he got revenge on a
Chicago tailor. The tailor did not know him when he went to order his
suit, but he did know from his style that he was from the country. He
told Mr. Nye just what kind of a suit he wanted, selected the cloth
and measured him with the assurance that this was a beautiful fast
color and would wear like iron. It should be put up handsomely. When
Nye paid him for the suit and asked that it be shipped to a way
station in Iowa the tailor was sure that he was right in the mental
measurement he had taken of his customer. The suit arrived, neatly
lined with farmer's satin and Nye put it on. Day by day its bright
blue grew lighter and lighter, until, when we arrived in Chicago, six
weeks later, it was a kind of a dingy dun color. Nye remarked as the
train pulled in that his first duty in that city would be to go around
and interview that merchant-liar; and we went. He shambled back to the
rear end of the shop, where he found the man who sold him the
garments. He shook hands with him cordially, said he was glad to renew
the pleasant acquaintance and asked if he knew what had caused the
suit to change its beautiful color, at the same time turning up the
lapel of the coat and showing the striking contrast between the
original and the present color of the cloth.
"'Why, man!' cried the tailor, bristling with defensive indignation,
'what in the world have you been doing to that suit?'
"'Well,' replied Nye, in a tone of the meekest apology, 'you did not
warn me and I suppose it was my fault and I ought to have known
better. But since you insist, I'll tell you frankly what I did: I put
it on and wore it right out in the sun!'
"The tailor saw the point and insisted upon making another suit out of
cloth that was really good and would not accept pay for it.
[Illustration: CONVICTING THE TAILOR.]
"Mr. Nye's sudden comments made in the midst of a lecture were often
the means of bringing the house to its feet. He knew better than
anybody his lack of physical ability to fill a large hall with his
voice and he strained every nerve to meet it. Any extraordinary
commotion in the hall discomposed him and he would wait until it
subsided. It was not a pleasant thing for him to hear a voice from the
back of the hall calling 'louder.' Upon such occasions he had a habit
of turning the laugh upon his tormentor by elevating his voice,
looking puzzled and asking what that remark was he had just heard.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account