The Army Mule, and Other War SketchesCastle, Henry A. (Henry Anson)
History
The Army Mule, and Other War Sketches
Castle, Henry A. (Henry Anson)
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865; United States. Army -- Military life
Throw physic to the dogs--they need thinning out anyhow, but preserve
your hallucinations; four generations of gentility are required to
produce a boy without freckles. P. S. Give the negro a chance! Eighty
generations barely sufficed to evolve a white man capable of inventing
the postage stamp. Just four hundred years were occupied by the whites
in conquering the Indians, with the powerful aid of rum, gunpowder and
Indian agents.
As we remarked, the furnishings of these visions were extremely
gorgeous. Cashmere, Bokarra and Khivan rugs bespread the marqueterie
floors. Also, delicate the potables. Ragouts, chow-chow, dinde glace,
truffles, soquille, sorbot, terrapin, sauterne, cognac and extra dry
cover the beckoning tables; nectar, nectar everywhere and every drop
imbibable. Imported, perhaps, through Signor Sp. Frumenti, of Genoa.
Behold priceless bijoux of Louis Quinze,--buhl, Sevres, Limoges,
Dalton, and Royal Vienna; treasures of ormolu and ivory, and Carrara;
wonders of faience and Satsuma; quaint carvings from Padua, Tokio,
Delhi and Antwerp, in ebony or sandal or teak or immemorial oak! All
for ornament rather than utility, like the ears of a mule which have
been stationed too far in front for wings, and too high up for
fly-scares. Here are poems in brass, anthems in eternal bronze,
pastorals in Dresden, mythologies in the grinning idols of Cathay,
miracles in Gobelin and Daubisson; relics of the by-flown, fly-blown
past, before the great, red dragon of Wall street had been hatched and
hated.
There are scimiter and falchion from the days of Lionheart, inwrought
with golden arabesque by fezzed wizards in Teheran. There are
poniards, it may be, reviving proud, glad, gladiatorial days, when
men were muscled like the brawny, aged hen. They fought with bloody
bludgeons long and well; or with sharp rapier carved the lion's liver
from his agile frame, while smiling beauty munched the Roman caramel
and saw with tearless lid the brave ones sink beneath hard blows more
deadly than the modern pie.
Here swing hangings more valued than jewels; silk woven in the
caliphs' harems; yellowing marvels of Chantilly; glowing glories of
Corot and Daubigny, Gerome, Vibert, Meissonier, Millais or
Rembrandt--unequaled as to flesh tints; superior even to most chromos.
Ah, yes! Roast venison, fried chicken, stuffed oysters, broiled
lobster, sausage with sauerkraut, beefsteak and onions on the half
shell. The mills of the cooks grind slowly, but they grind, even
though their recipes be less intelligible than the personal
recollections of a giraffe.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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