The Army Mule, and Other War SketchesCastle, Henry A. (Henry Anson)
History
The Army Mule, and Other War Sketches
Castle, Henry A. (Henry Anson)
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865; United States. Army -- Military life
All these things float and allure and dazzle and tempt in the soaring
fancy of the dilettante militant, who is lifted from a deep dark
Hamlet melancholy to semi-celestial altitudes. But a drum-tap or a
horse-neigh brings him down with a dull thud to the cramped coarse
environment where he is tethered like an uneasy Indian restricted to a
mental reservation. Blessed is the voluptuousness of reverie; blessed
and cheap as an expectant clothier's greeting, while he pauses
ecstatically for an appropriate smile; blessed and safe as flirting by
telephone with a centripetal divinity at the exchange, sweet-voiced,
invisible and anonymous; blessed but unsatisfying as a tariff reform
bill stuffed with local concessions.
From roseate fantasy to grim realism is a tumble sharp and sudden to
the dreamer in the Shelter Tent.
His ormolu and bijoutry consist of a deformed pocket mirror and a
foreshortened pipe black as bombazine grief. His floor is honest old
earth, rugless, plankless, naked as a marble Venus and cold as New
England culture.
His decorated couch of down and carved mahogany, ebony inlaid, is
superseded by a blanket and six fence-rails--rails quilled with
keen splinters like the frightful porcupine; blanket harboring fecund
colonies of that fraternal insect whose tentacles are inextricably
entangled with every shuddering recollection of army vicissitudes;
inescapable, inexpungable, yet nameless here forever more.
[Illustration: ... _Blessed is the voluptuousness of reverie, blessed
and cheap as an expectant clothier's greeting, while he pauses
ecstatically for an appropriate smile_]
His dresser of polished green malachite, silver-trimmed, shrinks to a
surreptitious cracker-box hiding certain confiscated edibles for which
some adjacent smoke-house holds a yawning vacancy, while Rachel weeps
for her turkeys and refuses to be comforted because they were shot.
In the said cracker-box, like a jewel in a toad's tooth, we may also
find all that can legitimately represent in fact the figments of our
hero's appetizing hallucinations, the customary ration of his daily
gulp and growl. Here is hard, hard bread, stamped B. C., so dry that
age can not wither it nor bicuspid masticate; acrid and bellicose
pork, premonitory of thirst and tapeworm, rich in albuminates, but
utterly poverty-stricken as to savor, odor and social status. Here is
raw beef from the east rump of a most attenuated anatomy, doubtful as
the welcome of an uninvited visitor; sufficient unto the soup is the
toughness thereof, no less.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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