The Arrow of Gold: A Story Between Two NotesConrad, Joseph
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The Arrow of Gold: A Story Between Two Notes
Conrad, Joseph
Adventure stories; Illegal arms transfers -- Fiction; Marseille (France) -- Fiction; Sea stories; Young men -- Fiction
“I have reason to think,” she said with a suppressed smile, “that he has
a certain power over women. Of course I don’t know anything about his
intimate life but a whisper or two have reached me, like that, floating
in the air, and I could hardly suppose that he would find an exceptional
resistance in that quarter of all others. But I should like to know the
exact degree.”
I disregarded an annoying tendency to feel dizzy that came over me and
was very careful in managing my voice.
“May I ask, Madame, why you are telling me all this?”
“For two reasons,” she condescended graciously. “First of all because
Mr. Mills told me that you were much more mature than one would expect.
In fact you look much younger than I was prepared for.”
“Madame,” I interrupted her, “I may have a certain capacity for action
and for responsibility, but as to the regions into which this very
unexpected conversation has taken me I am a great novice. They are
outside my interest. I have had no experience.”
“Don’t make yourself out so hopeless,” she said in a spoilt-beauty tone.
“You have your intuitions. At any rate you have a pair of eyes. You are
everlastingly over there, so I understand. Surely you have seen how far
they are . . .”
I interrupted again and this time bitterly, but always in a tone of
polite enquiry:
“You think her facile, Madame?”
She looked offended. “I think her most fastidious. It is my son who is
in question here.”
And I understood then that she looked on her son as irresistible. For my
part I was just beginning to think that it would be impossible for me to
wait for his return. I figured him to myself lying dressed on his bed
sleeping like a stone. But there was no denying that the mother was
holding me with an awful, tortured interest. Twice Therese had opened
the door, had put her small head in and drawn it back like a tortoise.
But for some time I had lost the sense of us two being quite alone in the
studio. I had perceived the familiar dummy in its corner but it lay now
on the floor as if Therese had knocked it down angrily with a broom for a
heathen idol. It lay there prostrate, handless, without its head,
pathetic, like the mangled victim of a crime.
“John is fastidious, too,” began Mrs. Blunt again. “Of course you
wouldn’t suppose anything vulgar in his resistances to a very real
sentiment. One has got to understand his psychology. He can’t leave
himself in peace. He is exquisitely absurd.”
I recognized the phrase. Mother and son talked of each other in
identical terms. But perhaps “exquisitely absurd” was the Blunt family
saying? There are such sayings in families and generally there is some
truth in them. Perhaps this old woman was simply absurd. She continued:
“We had a most painful discussion all this morning. He is angry with me
for suggesting the very thing his whole being desires. I don’t feel
guilty. It’s he who is tormenting himself with his infinite
scrupulosity.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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