The Arrow of Gold: A Story Between Two NotesConrad, Joseph
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The Arrow of Gold: A Story Between Two Notes
Conrad, Joseph
Adventure stories; Illegal arms transfers -- Fiction; Marseille (France) -- Fiction; Sea stories; Young men -- Fiction
And now there was one sane person in the house, for I had regained
complete command of my thoughts. Working in a logical succession of
images they showed me at last as clearly as a picture on a wall, Therese
pressing with fervour the key into the fevered palm of the rich,
prestigious, virtuous cousin, so that he should go and urge his
self-sacrificing offer to Rita, and gain merit before Him whose Eye sees
all the actions of men. And this image of those two with the key in the
studio seemed to me a most monstrous conception of fanaticism, of a
perfectly horrible aberration. For who could mistake the state that made
José Ortega the figure he was, inspiring both pity and fear? I could not
deny that I understood, not the full extent but the exact nature of his
suffering. Young as I was I had solved for myself that grotesque and
sombre personality. His contact with me, the personal contact with (as
he thought) one of the actual lovers of that woman who brought to him as
a boy the curse of the gods, had tipped over the trembling scales. No
doubt I was very near death in the “grand salon” of the Maison Dorée,
only that his torture had gone too far. It seemed to me that I ought to
have heard his very soul scream while we were seated at supper. But in a
moment he had ceased to care for me. I was nothing. To the crazy
exaggeration of his jealousy I was but one amongst a hundred thousand.
What was my death? Nothing. All mankind had possessed that woman. I
knew what his wooing of her would be: Mine—or Dead.
All this ought to have had the clearness of noon-day, even to the veriest
idiot that ever lived; and Therese was, properly speaking, exactly that.
An idiot. A one-ideaed creature. Only the idea was complex; therefore
it was impossible really to say what she wasn’t capable of. This was
what made her obscure processes so awful. She had at times the most
amazing perceptions. Who could tell where her simplicity ended and her
cunning began? She had also the faculty of never forgetting any fact
bearing upon her one idea; and I remembered now that the conversation
with me about the will had produced on her an indelible impression of the
Law’s surprising justice. Recalling her naïve admiration of the “just”
law that required no “paper” from a sister, I saw her casting loose the
raging fate with a sanctimonious air. And Therese would naturally give
the key of the fencing-room to her dear, virtuous, grateful,
disinterested cousin, to that damned soul with delicate whiskers, because
she would think it just possible that Rita might have locked the door
leading front her room into the hall; whereas there was no earthly
reason, not the slightest likelihood, that she would bother about the
other. Righteousness demanded that the erring sister should be taken
unawares.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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