The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three ActsPailleron, Edouard
General
The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three Acts
Pailleron, Edouard
Comedy plays; French drama -- Translations into English
SUZANNE. A moment ago I didn’t see what you meant——
ROGER. No, stay, stay! There’s no better place than this. I have so
much to tell you. My heart is so full! I don’t know why I tell you all
this—It’s true—It’s so good to say these things—Ah, Suzanne—stay! Dear
Suzanne—(_He holds her_)
SUZANNE. No, I beg you!
ROGER. _You?_[6]
[6] She uses the formal “vous.”
SUZANNE. (_More and more troubled_) I—beg you——
ROGER. But _only_ a moment ago——
SUZANNE. Yes, but now——
ROGER. Why?
SUZANNE. I don’t know, I——
ROGER. You’re crying! Have I hurt you?
SUZANNE. No! No!
ROGER. Have I offended you, without knowing it?
SUZANNE. No, no,—I don’t know. I don’t understand. Please, let’s go
away from here!
ROGER. Suzanne!—I don’t understand!—I can’t see!
(_The_ DUCHESS _appears_.)
DUCHESS. And do you know why? It is because neither of you can see
what’s as clear as day! (_She turns up the gas_) There!
ROGER. Aunt!
DUCHESS. My dear children, how happy you make me! Go on, kiss your
bride!
ROGER. (_Not understanding at first_) My bride—Suzanne! (_He looks at
his aunt, then at_ SUZANNE) Ohh! It’s true,—I love her!
DUCHESS. (_Joyously_) Nonsense! Even when it’s as clear as day? (_To_
SUZANNE) And how about you?
SUZANNE. (_With downcast eyes_) Oh, Aunt!
DUCHESS. It seemed—that you could see all the time! Women’s eyes are a
little better than men’s, eh? That idea of mine to turn down the gas
was splendid. So everything’s going nicely now? Well, there is only
your mother to see!
ROGER. What?
DUCHESS. Oh, it will be a little difficult!—Here she is! Here they all
come—The whole tragedy! Shh! Not a word! Leave everything in my hands,
I’ll take care of it. What’s all this?
(_Enter_ MADAME DE CÉRAN, DES MILLETS, _surrounded by ladies, the_
GENERAL, BELLAC, LUCY, MADAME DE LOUDAN, MADAME ARRIÉGO, PAUL _and_
JEANNE; _and the others_.)
MME. DE CÉRAN. Great news, Aunt!
DUCHESS. What?
MME. DE CÉRAN. Revel is dead!
DUCHESS. You’re fooling!
MME. DE CÉRAN. It’s in the evening papers. Look! (_She hands her a
paper_)
DUCHESS. Well—(_Takes the paper and reads it_)
MME. ARRIÉGO. (_To the Poet_) Beautiful, superb!
MME. DE LOUDAN. Beautiful! Inspired!
GENERAL. Remarkable! One excellent line!
Des Millets. Oh, General!
GENERAL. Yes, indeed! An excellent line! “The”—how does it go? “Honor
is like a god which hath one altar only!”
PAUL. (_To_ JEANNE) A trifle too many feet!
BELLAC. (_To_ LUCY, _after looking at paper_) He died at six o’clock!
SAINT-RÉAULT. (_To his wife, showing her paper_) Yes, at six o’clock.
Oh, I have M. Toulonnier’s promise!
BELLAC. (_To_ LUCY) Toulonnier gave me a formal promise——
MME. DE CÉRAN. (_To the_ DUCHESS) Toulonnier is on our side.
DUCHESS. Well, where is your Toulonnier?
SAINT-RÉAULT. He just received a telegram.
MME. DE CÉRAN. (_Aside_) That confirms the appointment. Good!—But
why—? (_Enter_ TOULONNIER) Ah—At last!
ALL. It’s he! Ah! Ah!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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