The Art of Being Happy: In a Series of Letters from a Father to His Children: with Observations and CommentsDroz, Joseph
Philosophy
The Art of Being Happy: In a Series of Letters from a Father to His Children: with Observations and Comments
Droz, Joseph
Happiness
In a pecuniary point of view the claims of friendship are only
limited by the sterner demands of justice. The common adage, which
calls upon us to be just, before we allow ourselves to be generous,
is worthy to be written in letters of gold; though it has been a
thousand times wrested by selfish and cold hearts, into a pretext
for their avarice. Whoever should think of lavishing his money
upon a friend, in order to absolve himself from the more difficult
calls of justice, would show a mind, too weak and incapable of
discrimination, to honor that friend by his bounty. But, grant that
the friends have delicacy, consideration and gentlemanly tact, and
they may possess a common purse, without danger to the duties of
either.
The fame and character of the one are strictly the property of
the other. Let no one, who has the least particle of the base
alloy of envy in his feelings towards him, whom he calls his
friend, who is willing to hear, and countenance abatements of his
qualities, talents, or virtues, dare to assume that almost sacred
name. He is equally unworthy of it, if he stand by in neutrality
when calumny is busily passing against him; and still more, if by
smiles he gives his countenance, and half his consent to the story
of detraction and abatement. It is a forfeiture of the right to
the name, though it may be a less worthy one, to make the person,
called friend, the subject of jest and ridicule. In regard to all
these points, the duties are clear, distinct, palpable and not
to be compromised. Every honorable mind feels, in witnessing any
infraction of the laws of equity, or strict justice, a sentiment
of recoil and disgust, difficult perhaps to define, but one which
instantly designates the person guilty of it, as unworthy of the
name of friend. Honest, frank and disinterested advice, especially
in relation to concerns of great interest to the party, is a
paramount obligation, whether the advised will bear, or forbear.
This prerogative may, indeed, be claimed by unfeeling and rude
bluntness. But, by a discriminating mind, the suggestions of a
counterfeit, will never be mistaken for those of genuine friendship.
The time, the courtesy and the amount of intercourse, due from
one friend to another, can never be brought under subjection to
rules. Moral, like physical attraction, acting unconsciously, will
regulate this portion of duty, with the unvarying certainty of
the laws of nature. If persons, claiming to sustain this relation
to each other, do not wish to be as much together, as duty and
propriety will admit; if they allow this matter to be settled by
the rigid tithing of etiquette, they are anything rather than real
friends.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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