_The Hon. Mrs. Wellesley Gough_.--Wellesley dear, _do_ listen to that darling Hastings Clive, how sweetly he prattles! What _did_ he say then? If one could _only_ learn that delightful Hindostanee, so that one could converse with one's dear Hastings Clive! _Do_ tell me what he said. _The Hon. Wellesley Gough, of the Company's Bad Bargains_.--Literally interpreted, my dearest Maud, our darling Hastings Clive sweetly remarked, "I say, you pig, why in thunder don't you fetch my goat into the parlor?" _The Hon. Mrs. Wellesley Gough, of the Hon. Mr. Wellesley Gough's Bad Bargains_.--Oh, _isn't_ he clever? _Hastings Clive_.--_Jou_, you _haremzeada_! _Bukri na munkta, nimuk-aram_! _The Hon. Wellesley Gough_.--My love, he says now, "Get out, you good-for-nothing rascal! I don't want that goat here." _The Hon. Mrs. Wellesley Gough_.--Oh, _isn't_ he clever? What dreadful crime did you commit in another life, O illustrious Moonshee, that you should fall now among such thieves as this horrid Hastings Clive? "Sahib, I know not. _Hum kia kurrenge? kismut hi_: What can I do? it is my fate." Hastings Clive has a queer assortment of pets, first of which are the bushy-tailed Persian kittens, hereinbefore mentioned. When, in Yankee-land, some lovelorn Zeekle is notoriously sweet upon any Huldy of the rural maids,--when "His heart keeps goin' pitypat, And hern goes pity Zeekle,"-- when she is "All kind o' smily round the lips, And teary round the lashes,"-- it is usual to describe his condition by a feline figure; he is said to "cuddle up to her like a sick kitten to a hot brick." But the sick Oriental kitten, reversing the Occidental order of kitten things, cuddles up to a water-monkey, and fondly embraces the refreshing evaporation of its beaded bulb with all her paws and all her bushy tail. The Persian kitten stands high in the favor of Hastings Clive. Hastings Clive has a whole array of parroquets and hill-mainahs, which, as they learned their small language from his peculiar scurrilous practice, are but blackguard birds at best. He also rejoices in many blue-jays, rescued from the Ganges, whereinto they were thrown as offerings to the vengeful Doorga during the barbarous _pooja_ celebrated in her name. Very proud, too, is Hastings Clive of his pigeons,--his many-colored pigeons from Lucknow, Delhi, and Benares; an Oudean bird-boy has trained them to the pretty sport of the Mohammedan princes, and every afternoon he flies them from the house-top in flashing flocks, for Hastings Clive's entertainment.