The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 02, No. 09, July, 1858: A Magazine of Literature, Art, and PoliticsVarious
History
The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 02, No. 09, July, 1858: A Magazine of Literature, Art, and Politics
Various
American periodicals
I was born and bred, as I have told you twenty times, among books and
those who knew what was in books. I was carefully instructed in things
temporal and spiritual. But up to a considerable maturity of childhood I
believed Raphael and Michel Angelo to have been super-human beings. The
central doctrine of the prevalent religious faith of Christendom was
utterly confused and neutralized in my mind for years by one of those too
common stories of actual life, which I overheard repeated in a whisper.--
Why did I not ask? you will say.--You don't remember the rosy pudency of
sensitive children. The first instinctive movement of the little creatures
is to make a _cache_, and bury in it beliefs, doubts, dreams, hopes, and
terrors. I am uncovering one of these _caches_. Do you think I was
necessarily a greater fool and coward than another?
I was afraid of ships. Why, I could never tell. The masts looked
frightfully tall,--but they were not so tall as the steeple of our old
yellow meeting-house. At any rate, I used to hide my eyes from the sloops
and schooners that were wont to lie at the end of the bridge, and I
confess that traces of this undefined terror lasted very long.--One other
source of alarm had a still more fearful significance. There was a great
wooden HAND,--a glove-maker's sign, which used to swing and creak in the
blast, as it hung from a pillar before a certain shop a mile or two
outside of the city. Oh, the dreadful hand! Always hanging there ready to
catch up a little boy, who would come home to supper no more, nor yet to
bed,--whose porringer would be laid away empty thenceforth, and his half-
worn shoes wait until his small brother grew to fit them.
As for all manner of superstitious observances, I used once to think I
must have been peculiar in having such a list of them, but I now believe
that half the children of the same age go through the same experiences. No
Roman soothsayer ever had such a catalogue of _omens_ as I found in the
Sibylline leaves of my childhood. That trick of throwing a stone at a tree
and attaching some mighty issue to hitting or missing, which you will find
mentioned in one or more biographies, I well remember. Stepping on or over
certain particular things or spots--Dr. Johnson's especial weakness--I got
the habit of at a very early age.--I won't swear that I have not some
tendency to these not wise practices even at this present date. [How many
of you that read these notes can say the same thing!]
With these follies mingled sweet delusions, which I loved so well I would
not outgrow them, even when it required a voluntary effort to put a
momentary trust in them. Here is one which I cannot help telling you.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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