THE AUTHOR TO THE PUBLISHERS. GENTLEMEN,-- In reply to your polite request, I have to say, that under no circumstances can I entertain your proposition to write a _fictitious_ narrative. I could, however, relate some very interesting events which have come to my knowledge, and which, if told in a connected form, might undoubtedly be taken by the public for a work of fiction. I think my narrative, with some collateral matter I should introduce, would take up a reasonable space in about a dozen numbers of the Oceanic Miscellany. I cannot listen to your proposal about the engraving. If you accept my offer to write out, in the form of a story, the incidents of real life to which I have referred, we will arrange the terms at a private interview. I consider the first day of a month as unobjectionable as any other in the same month, as a time for receiving payment of any sum that may be due me under the proposed contract. Yours truly. CONFIDENTIAL EDITOR OF THE OCEANIC MISCELLANY TO THE AUTHOR. MY DEAR PROF.,-- We have had lots of bob-tail stories,--docked short in from one to three months. Can't you give us a switch-tail one, that will hang on so as to touch next December? Something imaginary, based on your recollections,--the incidents of the War of 1812, for instance;--but, at any rate, a regular "to be continued" "_pièce de résistance_" Yours ever. THE AUTHOR TO THE CONFIDENTIAL EDITOR. MY DEAR ED.,-- I really wouldn't undertake to tell an "imaginary" story, or to write a romance, or anything of the kind. I might be willing to relate some curious matters that have come to my knowledge, arranging them in a collective form, so that they would probably pass with most readers for fictitious, and perhaps excite very much the same kind of interest they would if genuine fictions. I don't remember much about the "last war"; but I suppose both of us may recollect the illumination when peace was declared in 1815. Ever yours. THE PUBLISHERS TO THE AUTHOR. (Inclosing a check, in advance, for the first number.) THE AUTHOR TO THE READER.