The following are also prohibited, excepting to such Inmates as may have lost their faculties and cannot any longer make Puns of their own:-- "----your own _hair_ or a wig"; "it will be _long enough_, "etc., etc.; "little of its age," etc., etc.;--also, playing upon the following words: _hos_pital; _mayor_; _pun_; _pitied_; _bread_; _sauce_, etc., etc., etc. See INDEX EXPURGATORIUS, _printed for use of Inmates_. The subjoined Conundrum is not allowed:--Why is Hasty Pudding like the Prince? Because it comes attended by its _sweet_;--nor this variation to it, _to wit_: Because the _'lasses runs after it_. The Superintendent, who went round with us, had been a noted punster in his time, and well known in the business-world, but lost his customers by making too free with their names,--as in the famous story he set afloat in '29 of _four Jerries_ attaching to the names of a noted Judge, an eminent Lawyer, the Secretary of the Board of Foreign Missions, and the well-known Landlord at Springfield. One of the _four Jerries_, he added, was of gigantic magnitude. The play on words was brought out by an accidental remark of Solomons, the well-known Banker. "_Capital punishment!_" the Jew was overheard saying, with reference to the guilty parties. He was understood as saying, _A capital pun is meant_, which led to an investigation and the relief of the greatly excited public mind. The Superintendent showed some of his old tendencies, as he went round with us. "Do you know"--he broke out all at once--"why they don't take steppes in Tartary for establishing Insane Hospitals?" We both confessed ignorance. "Because there are _nomad_ people to be found there," he said, with a dignified smile. He proceeded to introduce us to different Inmates. The first was a middle-aged, scholarly man, who was seated at a table with a Webster's Dictionary and a sheet of paper before him. "Well, what luck to-day, Mr. Mowzer?" said the Superintendent. "Three or four only," said Mr. Mowzer. "Will you hear 'em now,--now I'm here?" We all nodded. "Don't you see Webster _ers_ in the words cent_er_ and theat_er_? "If he spells leather _lether_, and feather _fether_, isn't there danger that he'll give us a _bad spell of weather_? "Besides, Webster is a resurrectionist; he does not allow _u_ to rest quietly in the _mould_. "And again, because Mr. Worcester inserts an illustration in his text, is that any reason why Mr. Webster's publishers should hitch one on in their appendix? It's what I call a _Conntect-a-cut_ trick. "Why is his way of spelling like the floor of an oven? Because it is _under bread_. "Mowzer!" said the Superintendent,--"that word is on the Index!" "I forgot," said Mr. Mowzer;--"please don't deprive me of _Vanity Fair_, this one time, Sir. "These are all, this morning. Good day, Gentlemen. Then to the Superintendent,--Add you, Sir!"