The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 13, No. 79, May, 1864: A Magazine of Literature, Art, and PoliticsVarious
Religion
The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 13, No. 79, May, 1864: A Magazine of Literature, Art, and Politics
Various
American periodicals
All that night I lay awake, staring at the moonlight on the curtains. I
was again on the old track, for I could not possibly imagine what he
should have to say to Margaret at that hour.
Towards morning I fell asleep, and never woke till the people were
getting ready for meeting. I hurried, for the instruments met before the
rest to practise.
Nearly all the young folks sat in the seats. Jamie stood at the head of
the back row, on the men's side. His voice was worth all the rest.
Margaret came in late. She looked like a beauty that day. Her place was
at the head of the first row of girls. I, with my bass-viol, was behind
all.
The minister read the hymn beginning with this verse,--
"We are a garden walled around,
Chosen and made peculiar ground;
A little spot inclosed by grace,
Out of the world's wide wilderness."
While he was reading it, I saw her write a little note, and hand it
across the alley to Jamie. He smiled, and wrote another back. After
meeting, they had a talk. These things sound small enough now. But now I
am neither young, nor in love, nor jealous.
That night was our last at home. After supper, I strolled off towards
the meeting-house. 'Twas about sundown. I walked awhile in the
graveyard, and then followed the path into the wood at the back of it.
I see that I have been telling my story in a way to favor myself,--that
even now I am unwilling wholly to expose my folly. I could not, if I
tried, tell how that night in the wood I was beset at once by jealousy,
pride, love, and anger, and so well-nigh driven mad.
I passed from the wood to the open field, and reached the shore. The
vessel lay at the wharf. I climbed the rigging, and watched the moon
rising over the water. It must have been near midnight when I reached
home.
The vessel sailed early in the morning. I did not see Margaret,--never
bid her good-bye. After we were under way, and were out of the windings
of the channel, Jamie came and leaned with me against the rail. And
there in silence we stood until the homes of those we loved so well had
faded from our sight.
Poor Jamie! I knew afterwards how troubled he was at the way I treated
him that summer. He wanted to be friendly, but I stood off. He wanted to
speak of the folks at home, but I would never join him. At last he left
off trying.
If he had not met with an accident, maybe I should never have spoken
another kind word to him. It happened towards the end of the voyage. The
schooner had wet her salt, and all hands were thinking of home. I was
down in the cabin. I was marking a piece of meat to boil,--for then each
fisherman carried his own provisions. All at once I heard something fall
upon the deck. Then a great trampling. I hurried up, and saw them
lifting up Jamie. He had fallen from the rigging. It was old and rotten.
They carried him down, and laid him in his berth. He wouldn't have
known, if they had dropped him into the sea.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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